cronology

RIP, Grandma...

2008-01-28T12:12:00.000-06:00

It's been a tough month. My grandmother (the one I quoted on Dec. 27th) passed away on January 12, at the age of 80--just two months after my 96 year old grandpa--and her husband of 58 years!

A long time smoker who'd quit many years ago, her lungs had been damaged. She was lucky to never have gotten cancer, but her lungs were so compromised that she often suffered debilitating infections. The week she died, she was in the hospital with pneumonia. After five days of treatment, she was doing better--we thought she might make it. Then she had a stroke. She died the next day.

I was vacationing in St. Paul when it all went down. I was unable to get back in time to see her while she was still alive. That makes me sad.

Our family is shattered of course. It's sad enough when any loved one dies, but to lose two, and so soon after one another is rough. Not many of my friends who are my age or older still have living grandparents, and these were my last ones. They were also the only ones I'd ever been close to, so the loss really hits home. I feel very lucky to have been able to enjoy them and share our lives for 37 years.

Of course I'm terribly sad, but my poor mother is simply devastated. She'd been their primary caregiver over the last several years, and we are all happy that even at their frailest, they were able to live out their lives at home, instead of having to go to a nursing facility.

But while their departure marks a certain kind of new freedom for my mother, she is first experiencing this freedom as a gaping void. Some of the things that most gave my mother's life shape have been ripped away suddenly. It's really quite a traumatic experience. I can't even imagine it.

Little things are sometimes the most difficult: seeing her toiletries in the bathroom out at the family homestead...leftovers in the fridge, a depression in the pillow she was sitting on before the last time she got up.

As sad as I am, as much as I wish I could have my sweet Grandma back, it has to be said that there is something existentially kind about her being able to pass so soon after her lifetime partner. Perhaps she wasn't meant to live alone, without grandpa. Perhaps she knew she'd done what she could do, what she needed to do.

Needless to say, these losses--these deaths--have me feeling extremely contemplative about myriad things. I've been thinking a lot about aging, health, mortality. I've reflected a lot on relationships and what they mean to me.

I'll probably have some gratuitous musings to share on these subjects. For now, I'm sure I can be excused for being relatively quiet--and for not really paying much attention to my diet or CRON.

Getting into the "Zone"

2007-12-31T12:21:00.000-06:00

I'm quietly getting myself into the zone--no, not the Twilight Zone, although sometimes it feels that way (and probably reads that way to you, gentle readers).

I'm resuming CRON tomorrow, January 1st. It's not a New Year's Resolution-thing (see my previous post for thoughts on that). I'm not making any resolutions or promises. But despite all that, I find it hard not to look at January 1 as an opportunity for a fresh start, symbolically. And also to use that symbolism as a mental tool to free myself of the past. To shed 2007 like an old cloak that I no longer wish to wear. It's still there if I want to look at it, but it's not hanging on me, weighing me down. Symbolically unburdened of all the dramas I've been wallowing in lately, I can enjoy the beginning of the new year, savor each new moment as it comes, and not need to view it through the lens of the past. Sounds good, doesn't it? Well, that's my aspiration. Reality will be somewhere between that and where I am now, I'm sure.

So I'm getting my mind into the CRON zone by tinkering with CRON-O-Meter today, plugging in foods that I know I have on hand, and seeing what sort of menus I can come up with for the next several days that fit the basic CRON scenario.

I'm also quite literally adopting "The Zone" as my macro-nutrient target. I know many CRONistas (thanks for the great new name, April!) use Zone-like ratios. I've researched The Zone but have not read Sears's book itself. But I'm aware that reducing inflammation by achieving some sort of hormonal balance through proper diet and nutrition is part of the plan. And reducing inflammation is something I very much need. I am a bundle of aches and pains these days. Some are brought on by the mechanical stress of extra weight burdening my joints. But I think some are definitely caused by diet issues and hormonal imbalances. And I also know that I do much better at lower carbohydrate levels, in terms of energy, mood, and all-around sense of well-being.

So, I've started the process of planning my diet out for the next few days. I'm in the position of being a little too broke at the moment for an all-out grocery shopping blitz this week to stock up on CRON-friendly foods, so I'm needing to work with what's in the pantry already with just a few additions. This means I need to plan carefully. I'll also need to take supplements because I'm probably not going to be able to balance nutrients as well as I'd like until I can do more grocery shopping for veggies.

So I'm optimistic, ready for change, ready for what comes. At the same time, I know myself pretty well, and I know my challenge will arrive not tomorrow, or the next day, but in a week, in a month. Sustaining good habits and behavior when temptations arrive to tease me with the promise of instant gratification. Staying present in the moment, being willing to endure the discomfort of predictability and boredom, perhaps pangs of hunger, an overwhelming desire and appetite for escape--these are the bugaboos that await me. I don't know when they will strike, but when they do (and they will), I have the opportunity to experience personal growth. And in that sense, perhaps I will remember to welcome their appearance and embrace the pain.

I will see you all on the other side, in 2008!

Abandon all hope.

2007-12-28T15:00:00.000-06:00

No, this isn't a dreary, depressed, despondent call to give up. I was reading Skinnybitch the other morning, and she had this to say about the end of the year 2007:

But in the calm after the storm [of the holidays], as we survey the damage - bulging waist lines and a wicked hangover, most likely - most of us will become reflective and, perhaps, a bit remorseful. Another year is about to die, and with it, all our failed good intentions of the previous year. What about that resolution to go to the gym every day? To eat less and exercise more? To be more patient, organized, forgiving, productive and self-disciplined?

Meanwhile, April submitted a post on New Years Resolutions.

They and most of us are tapping into an essential undercurrent that flows at this time of year, this urge for self-reflection and introspection. So many of us share this sense that we haven't done it well enough, that we could do it better, and that therefore we should do it better. Sometimes loudly proclaimed, and sometimes unspoken and whispering around in the subtext, is that we are just not good enough as we are. Nothing is ever good enough as it is.

I see this as derived, in a way, from the Protestant work ethic. We should always be busy. Always working. Working at our jobs, working on ourselves, basically work work work. You better work! Time to lean is time to clean. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Ad inifitum. Ad nauseum.

But careful: our culture does not reward this introspection and self-reflection unless it results in concrete action. You will not be an effective, virtuous person unless you channel those New Years resolutions into successful accomplishments. If you fail--and you will (even disciplined April jokes about which resolutions will be the first to go)--you will be revisiting a self-prescribed litany of failures at the end of 2008, wondering how you got off track, while hopefully planning your salvation in 2009. Lather, rinse, repeat in 2010. Ad infinitum. Ad nauseum.

I'm not immune. I've practiced CRON only in fleeting fits and starts, actually gaining weight while simultaneously stopping exercise and losing muscle tone. I'm stretching the seams of my fattest clothing. I've all but abandoned work on my novel. I hatched elaborate plans to train for and run a marathon, then bailed as soon as I found out the Chicago race had filled up and I couldn't get in.

If I wanted to sit down and revisit my shortcomings, either explicitly by listing the failures, or implicitly by mapping out the resolutions for "positive changes" next year, I could easily do it. I could do it in my sleep. With my hands tied behind my back. Hell, with my hands AND legs tied behind my back. Hogtied, I could list and wallow in the muck of my shortcomings, my dashed hopes, and my failed expectations for the work I could and should have been doing all year long.

For me, however, this year has been about survival. At some point in 2007, I finally abandoned hope. I started giving up on my perfectionism, and my expectations for perfectionism in others. I started learning to wallow in my slothy, lazy ways, to calmly recognize my impetuous ego-clinging, to look clearly and honestly and without judgement at my difficulty in resisting the apetites that defeat me.

Always wanting to be noticed and appreciated and adored by others, I learned somewhwere along the way this year to embrace the anonymity that comes from not being virtuous and beautiful and perfect. It became comforting to realize that people were looking through me instead of at me. That I could at times become invisible. To feel a sense of comfort and relief when no one was thinking about me. To not mind when no one expected anything from me, and to not feel that others owed me something.

Losing hope sounds scary and depressing and nihilistic, but that's not how I mean it at all. If hope is one side of a coin, what's on the other side? Fear, it seems. We hope for better, but fear the worst. Our fear drives us to hatch harebrained schemes which THIS TIME will free us from the truth about ourselves for sure! We have fears about our story, our character, our essential nature. We hope to change them all.

New Years resolutions are all about clinging to hope that we can be better. We find it so easy to accept that we were bad before, and yet so difficult to accept that we were good. Or good enough. We are afraid to not be good, to be better, to not be the best we can be. We're afraid that we were bad last year and if we don't do something we'll be worse than ever this year!

We want to run away from our fears, but we're stuck because we can't run into the future where everything has already been solved. Hope is our way of getting around that pesky fact of our time-space continuum: we only have access to right now--this instant. And since we can't solve our problems this instant, we turn to hope. Hope gives us a place to locate our longings.

2007 was a tough year for me. And for my family. And for the world, for that matter. I'm glad I made it out alive, in one piece, and not too much worse for the wear. But I can honestly say that for the first time ever, I am not filled with remorse for the things that didn't happen in 2007. There are plenty of things I'm glad did NOT happen in 2007. In fact, the list of things that didn't happen that could have been or surely would have been worse is infinite! So I'm thankful for that!

I'm sure I had high hopes for 2007, but with all that actually occurred, I cannot really recall what they were. I can't quite bring forth the specter of who I was at the end of 2006 and all his horrible shortcomings and failures. Nor can I materialize the ghost of who I thought I'd be at the end of 2007.

I'm learning to abandon hope. I think the more I'm able to do that, the better I'll be able to abandon fear. Maybe I won't be afraid to go to bed a little hungry some night, maybe after a day in which I've eaten enough, but not as much as usual. Maybe a 230 pound man going to bed a little hungry isn't that scary after all.

Maybe the discomfort of getting up at 5am so I can squeeze a reviving workout in at the gym, and the irritation of being a little tired, maybe that's not so scary.

Maybe being bored and lonely isn't frightening enough to make me flee to the warm comfort of an extra glass of wine.

Maybe being alone and quiet and still isn't so bad, and even if it feels so bad in the moment, well maybe feeling bad doesn't always require an escape or a remedy.

Maybe if I'm not so afraid to confront and engage with the pain (whatever type it is), I won't hope so hard for it to go away. Maybe I won't feel so strongly the urge to act based on my hopes and fears, instead of acting on what's actually happneing here, now, in this moment, where and when I actually have the ability to act.

I can't honestly say that I don't have hopes for 2008, and fears too. Those thoughts will surely cross my mind every day. My idea is to not be ruled by them. To let those thoughts cross my mind the way a bird crosses the sky...see them up there flying by, and let them continue on their way to wherever they are going, leaving me to sit here quietly.

So I'm abandoning hope.

The hand gesture depicted in the image at the top of this Gratuitous Musing is called the Abhaya Mudra. It means "no fear."

I'm abandoning fear.

(But I might still blog about it once in awhile...)

Grandma: "I think we'll all feel better after we see a few people getting slaughtered."

2007-12-27T12:53:00.000-06:00

I'm in a dark place. Allow me to share.

Well, it's been awhile. I haven't submitted updates to CRONOLOGY for a very long time primarily because I haven't been practicing CRON. At times I entertained the thought of treating this blog as my own general journal/diary, and going ahead with postings about miscellaneous stuff unrelated to my stalled CRON practice. But in the end, I felt I wanted to keep things somewhat on topic.

The reasons for my lack of CRON are varied and numerous. Or maybe that's "excuses" rather than "reasons." So much has happened since my last entry that I'm not sure how it all fits together with my CRON practice. Maybe I'll just start back in July and see where this goes. [Author's note: Danger--it goes pretty far--and pretty far afield; turn back now.]

I was just getting back into CRON at the end of July. I think I wanted to drop some pounds before a Labor Day trip to New Orleans that I'd been excitedly anticipating. Well, that didn't happen. I'm not even sure why I didn't stick with it that time. It was summer, there were gobs of great fresh vegetables and fruits available at farmer's markets all over Chicago.

New Orleans was fun--I stayed for 8 days with three friends from DC. We ate nothing but horribly unhealthy (but so delicious) food the entire time. And of course, we drank massive quantities of alcohol. I mean, a LOT of alcohol. Like "frat boys on spring break" quantities of wine, beer, gin--you name it. If I was conscious, and it wasn't morning, I probably had a drink in my hand. We started at the hotel, and continued on the streets of the French Quarter until all hours of the night (or morning...).

This alcohol business is not an insignificant issue for me: I have long struggled to keep my alcohol intake to a low moderate level. On CRON, it's pretty easy, because alcohol eats up calories without providing nutrients, and I'm usually unwilling to feel that hungry in order to maintain a high level of alcohol consumption. Never mind that it's counterproductive for longevity. Or depression.

And I'm always mindful that I come from a long line of heavy drinkers. My grandmother on my father's side died of either lung cancer (from smoking) or cirrhosis (from drinking) or both--we can never remember. At any rate, she was often "in her cups" as it were. My grandmother on my mom's side went to rehab twice before kicking her long-time addiction at around the age of 55. She's been sober now for 25 years. I have spent my adulthood partying with my parents. Family occasions are always occasions for drinking. Alcohol-drinking behavior is encouraged and reinforced constantly in my family, and in our culture at large, and resisting it, just like resisting our obesigenic food environment, is difficult when you thoroughly enjoy the stuff.

My own drinking habits have been spotty over the years. I've gone long periods with moderately normal consumption, then gotten a little carried away for awhile, then turned to abstinence for long periods. When I go too far for too long, a switch seems to flip in my brain that orders me "stop drinking completely," at least for awhile, and I usually comply with that command. Inevitably I quietly start drinking again later, and the whole process repeats.

New Orleans at the end of August was rather a binge for me. I came back to Chicago feeling polluted and ill. I went "on the wagon" yet again, for a couple months. Then I started drinking again in November. So far, so good--for me at least. I'm managing moderation for now, and I'm enjoying the times I can have cocktails or wine with my friends over dinner. When I resume CRON, the drinking will necessarily be further diminished, and I'm fine with that.

But from the period of just before Thanksgiving until today, I have had an ugly glimpse of the possibilities that await me if I should fail to remain vigilant about my alcohol use.

My uncle (my mother's brother) has been a long-suffering alcoholic, just like his mother. He's fifty, and the last 10-15 years have seen his alcohol abuse go from an immoderate low-level to the level of "how the hell is he still alive?" While my mom and I knew about his problem, he'd been concealing it from his parents (my grandparents).

Then Grandpa died the Friday before Thanksgiving. Grandpa was 96 years old, had lived a long and happy life, pretty much did what he wanted to, and his death itself, while sad for the family, was not a tragedy. It was just his time. He failed pretty quickly, spending a week in the hospital before dying of heart failure.

But during that week when he was dying, my uncle was on a 24-hour a day binge for a week. He didn't go to work. He didn't go to Ft. Wayne to be with his dying father. He missed the death because he was drunk and felt guilty and then drank more.

When we finally all got to Ft. Wayne to deal with things, my uncle was a physical train wreck. He was so sick, we persuaded him to go to the ER. He was admitted to the hospital two days before Thanksgiving with kidney failure. Everything about his addiction finally came out in the open at the hospital. We had Thanksgiving dinner with him in the hospital cafeteria. It was dreadful. We were mourning grandpa's death, and at the same time worrying about my uncle.

After a few days of detoxing in the hospital, they got his kidneys working again. He was released on the Friday after Thanksgiving, pledging to enter rehab and deal with his addiction. He was contrite. He said all the right things. But he was not ready, it seems. Three weeks later, he was at it again.

Meanwhile, with grandpa gone, grandma decided she didn't want to do the usual Christmas, so we all went to a bed & breakfast in South Bend, Indiana, for a Christmas away. I should clarify: when I say "we all" I mean me, my mom and her husband, grandma, and my drunk uncle. My druncle. We are a small and dwindling family. Neither my uncle nor I show signs of producing offspring, and in both cases, I can't say that's a bad thing. Some families are just better off dying out, I think.

My druncle was already deep in his cups when he arrived late at the b&b. Everyone was pissed because he was 5 hours late and had made no effort to call and provide an update as to his whereabouts. The holiday went downhill from there.

Christmas was basically a captive, two-day long intervention filled with acrimonious exchanges, bitter recriminations, petulent stomping off, faux-contrite returns, promises of rehab followed by pouty retractions of promises of rehab, veiled suicide threats, excuses, excuses, and more excuses.

On Christmas eve, we needed escape from the pressure cooker we'd stepped into. It was decided we'd go see the new film version of "Sweeney Todd" with Johnny Depp. My sweet, little old grandma said without a trace of irony, "I think we'll all feel better after we see a few people getting slaughtered." It was one of the few times I laughed over the holiday. "Grandma, I have waited my entire life to hear you say something like that!" She was kidding, but on the other hand, her little joke quite illustrated the dark place we all felt we were trapped in together. When violent, vengeful, bloody murder seems an escape, you know you've got issues.

----SPOILER ALERT--STOP READING----

The trouble is, we didn't feel better. "Sweeney Todd" is NOT a feel-good movie. Vengeance doesn't deliver redemption here. Everyone dies horribly. Well, perhaps not everyone, but you get the strong sense that the few who live aren't looking forward to living. Squalid London is a depressing prison captured in an aggressively grayscale color pallet. You can smell the sewage in the streets, taste the rotten cat and rat meat in Mrs. Lovett's pies.

I enjoyed the movie--the performances were terrific, the music gorgeous, the cinematography breathtaking--but it was also thoroughly disgusting and depressing, and perhaps not the best choice for a break in our intervention. After the bloodshed, we headed back to the Inn for round three (or was it four?).

More acrimony, more bitter recriminations, more promises of rehab, and Christmas was over. Happy Birthday Jesus...hope you enjoyed our ill pageantry.

But lo! There is a new light on the horizon: my mom and grandma headed to Indianapolis Wednesday to escort my druncle into rehab. Seems they persuaded him to do it, and so while he was drunk as ever, he managed to work out arrangements with his employer, and was checked into an inpatient facility Thursday! That may sound depressing and traumatic, but honestly it's the only spot of good I've felt in, well, I can't really remember.

So, how to tie all this back to CRON, and thus, render it appropriate for CRONOLOGY?

The events of the past two months have really exposed a reality of human life that I identify as helplessness, or perhaps it's more accurate to say powerlessness. In so many things, we are powerless: powerless to save dying grandpas. Powerless over drugs or alcohol. Powerless to help the ones we love when they meet their match, be it alcohol, faulty relationships, or simply circumstances beyond their control.

I may be powerless, helpless to fix all these problems in others. But I can make some choices here and now about how I respond to them myself. Will I use the pain and darkness as a reason, or excuse to abandon my aspirations? Will I medicate myself with food and alcohol and escapist television and anything and everything else I can grasp at to avoid the discomfort of the present moment?

I've concluded that the vices that haunt me--my immoderate food consumption (I've ballooned to 230#, the fattest I've ever been my entire life), my occasional forays into problematic drinking, my seeming difficulty committing to CRON--these all stem from my very human (yet ironically mindless) impulse to avoid the occasion of discomfort, and to escape it when it appears.

I tend to give in to the itch, to scratch until I bleed, rather than wait it out with equanimity and an open heart and mind. Discomfort and pain are not abnormal things to be eradicated at any cost. They are facts of life. Learning to stay with that notion, to non-judgmentally label pain and discomfort and thoughts that distress me and then relax into them, to stay present, to sit with them awhile with a sense of curiosity instead of fear: that is my challenge.

If you've wondered, yes there are Buddhist principles at work here in my gratuitous musing. Buddhism is something I've been exploring lately. And reconciling certain Buddhist principles with a quest for health and longevity (with their inherent forward-looking hopefulness about the future and the desire to delay or even prevent death) is something I have pondered. But that's a topic for another day, one that deserves its own entry.

For now, for today, I'm just satisfied to have reopened this blog. If anyone is reading, thanks for hanging in there. And while I am considering my options for re-engaging in CRON, and I'm sure I will have some things to say about it in the coming days, for now, well, no promises. I've got a few more pressing things to get through first.

I wish the best to all for an acceptable conclusion to 2007, and a good opening to 2008.

Grilled Vegetable Gazpacho!

2007-07-31T10:35:00.001-05:00

I spent a couple hours yesterday with the grill fired up, cooking up all those veggies I'd bought. I tend to use the two-level fire technique, where all the charcoal is piled up on one side of the grill, and my food is on the other side, where it can roast more slowly instead of charring over the flame. Putting the lid on with the vent holes over the food directs the flavorful smoke over the food on its way out of the grill. (Again--I acknowledge there may be hazards to eating smoked, grilled, or charred food. I hope I only do it in moderation.)

First was the yellow and green squash; then the green and purple green beans (purple green beans turn...green...when cooked); cremini mushrooms; red onions; a fennel bulb; red bell pepper; poblano pepper; asparagus spears; grape tomatoes.

Wow: grape tomatoes are magical on the grill: they wilt and soften, and their flavor concentrates stunningly, like something between a sun-dried tomato and fresh ripe one. It was all I could do to stop myself from eating the whole batch like candy. I think April has this problem with grape tomatoes from time to time....

A note about the poblano peppers: I used a technique of blackening them on the grill, putting then in a paper bag to steam, then peeling the waxy skin off and removing the crown and seeds inside (see the picture for an example of a blackened pepper ready to be peeled). What you are left with is a lovely, soft roasted dark-green pepper with mild heat and great smoky flavor, but no bitter skin. You can do this over the flame on your stove too, but the grill made super-quick work of it. Grind up one of these into your next fresh salsa--it's your new secret salsa weapon.

Now on to the soup:

To me, standard gazpacho is wonderful, featuring all the flavors of vegetables fresh from the garden. But I was dreaming of a deeply red, smoky, slightly sweet tomato-based gazpacho with assertively developed flavors from the grill--flavors that would remain prominent even in a soup served cold.

The grill flavor was done: I would use all those vegetables I'd just roasted last night. I didn't just want those rich, concentrated grilled vegetable bits to float listlessly in canned tomato juice. But I did want the bright acidity of tomato juice--and not, as per my usual gazpacho base--V8, which includes vegetal flavors I didn't envision in this recipe.

I borrowed the standard technique for making hot pureed soups, starting with 2 cups of room-temperature tomato juice in the blender. In went the smokiest--and sweetest--grilled vegetables: poblano peppers, red bell peppers, onions, fennel, and those amazing reduced grape tomatoes.

The resulting puree was a gorgeous, burnished red with tiny flecks of black from the grilled vegetables. The flavor was smoky, sweet, and rich--exactly what I wanted, but too concentrated. And it still wanted a little something more...

I took care of the concentrated flavor simply by adding two more cups of tomato juice. I decided on a tablespoon each of Worcestershire and soy sauce. The soy added complex salt, and together with the Worcestershire, provided a hit of umami that really brought out the depth of the smoke flavors. I had my base soup!

All that remained was the addition of the veggies that would provide something to chew on. I added diced yellow and green grilled squash, diced grilled fennel, and a fresh cucumber for a bright hit of green among all the burnished dark flavors. I just love sweet corn, so I tossed in a cup of frozen grilled corn from Trader Joe's, adding crunchy sweet nuggets and a bit of carbohydrate that, if you wanted fewer calories, you could leave out without sacrificing much flavor. Perfection!

And at just 100 calories a cup, I could afford to eat the whole 7-cup batch if I wanted too and still have more than half my day's calories left! (But I think I'll savor this masterpiece in smaller more frequent servings!)

So far so good...

2007-07-30T14:02:00.000-05:00

Well, it's awfully nice to still be noticed after my long absence. MoMR commented, April noted my reappearance in her blog today. I half worried that I'd fallen off everyone's radar because of my long silence.

I'm sure my initial posts will be a bit dull, since I'm basically working to psyche myself up to vigorous CRON practice, so I'll be focusing a lot on my food, and less on my Gratuitous Musings. Beside, I can't write those on demand--they are the result of something hitting me in a certain way that I simply must write about it.

So if you are in the mood to be bored, here's how my Re-CRON-ized life is starting out today:

I had my usual favorite breakfast, which I'm not sure if I've ever listed, so here it is:

Chris's Breakfast Smoothie

1 cup egg whites (pasteurized, from Trader Joe's)
1 cup fat-free yogurt
1 cup frozen blueberries
1 scoop vanilla Spiru-Tein (more on this below)
1 tbsp flax seed oil
2 rounded tbsp Lewis Labs brewer's yeast
2 tbsp psyllium husks

Nutrient Info for Smoothie

General (33%)
Energy	620.7	kcal	34%
Protein	65.4	g	48%
Carbs	64.7	g	30%
Fiber	18.4	g	48%
Fat	15.3	g	25%
Water	461.2	g	12%
Vitamins (91%)
Vitamin A	5080.7	IU	169%
Folate	496.7	µg	124%
B1 (Thiamine)	2.8	mg	235%
B2 (Riboflavin)	4.7	mg	359%
B3 (Niacin)	31.2	mg	195%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	12.1	mg	242%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	3.0	mg	229%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	7.3	µg	306%
Vitamin C	66.3	mg	74%
Vitamin D	400.0	IU	200%
Vitamin E	33.1	mg	221%
Vitamin K	25.7	µg	21%
Minerals (74%)
Calcium	629.4	mg	63%
Copper	1.1	mg	125%
Iron	6.9	mg	86%
Magnesium	171.9	mg	41%
Manganese	5.3	mg	229%
Phosphorus	463.9	mg	66%
Potassium	1564.5	mg	33%
Selenium	138.0	µg	251%
Sodium	714.6	mg	48%
Zinc	18.0	mg	163%
Lipids (30%)
Saturated	1.5	g	8%
Omega-3	7.4	g	464%
Omega-6	2.0	g	12%
Cholesterol	2.7	mg	1%

Some notes about this meal: yes, it's pretty high in calories, and the Spiru-Tein ups the carbs more than I'd like, but it also ups the protein, vitamins, and minerals. I've also used whey protein in the past--or just left it out altogether. It also functions as a supplement for vitamins and minerals, which if I'm supplementing, I prefer to take with food and an oil (the flax oil here), for better absorption.

I should be more sophisticated in my supplementation approach, and somewhere I have notes from Michael Rae on how to do this better, but right now I just don't have the time nor energy for it, and it's more important for me to get started and ease my way back into CRON.

Also, I am never hungry in the morning. This is a meal I can get down, because it's a liquid and mildly sweet tasting. I'm no good for chewable food until late mid-morning. I think coffee is somewhat responsible for my a.m. "anorexia" since it's an appetite suppressant, but I am unwilling to give it up--and it has niacin!

For the rest of my day: I'm eating more fruit right now than usual. Why? Because about half the time, I work outside in the sun all day, and my appetite is not good in these circumstances, while dehydration is a real risk. So today's food, which I've been grazing on all day is: an apple, a grapefruit, 400 g of wonderful cantaloupe from my local farmer's market, some almonds, some white-meat chicken, and 10 g of 85% cacao chocolate.

It's 2:45 pm, I've been munching all day and still have the melon left to devour, and then a whole dinner still tonight! It's amazing how much food you can cram into a calorie-restricted diet. I can't imagine why people eat low-volume, calorie-dense foods when they are on a weight-loss diet. No wonder they are hungry all the time. I bet 90% of my food is 90% water--and I'd say that's a good approach. Granted, CRON is not necessarily intended as a weight-loss diet, but still, if you DO want/need to lose weight, is there a better way?

Tonight I'm cooking up a bunch of veggies on the grill that I will eat on all week long (yes, I'm aware there are some unfriendly compounds produced on the grill...I'm willing to risk it for the taste, at least this week when I'm craving barbecued pulled pork and worse nasties!). And I can hardly wait for tonight's dinner! I'll make wraps with the grilled veggies and my previously mentioned whole sprouted multigrain Fat-Flush tortillas, a Quorn Naked Cutlet (jauntily sliced on the bias), a couple tablespoons of guacamole, and just a smidgeon of Sweet Baby Ray's Barbecue sauce. Delicious!

All of this will get me very close to my 1800 calorie goal, but I'll be short on protein. This seems ever to be the case for me--I have a hard time getting enough protein, and I don't like egg whites much (except uncooked in my smoothie). A calorie goal of 1800 might be too low for someone my size, but that was my target before and I was hardly withering away. I have proven to be resistant to weight loss in the past. I will be all too happy to increase my caloric load in a few days if I start melting away. I can hardly wait to eat dried figs with goat cheese...but I'm gonna wait until need 'em! I'll check in again later.

I'm back(ish)

2007-07-29T12:28:00.000-05:00

I've been on a CRON hiatus for a bunch of months now, but decided to give it another shot. As I've pointed out here on my blog previously, the probability of success increases with each attempt! I recalled how helpful it was for me to blog about my experience, so my first move is this post.

To be honest, I'm very motivated at the moment to lose some weight. I'm going on a trip at the end of August, and wouldn't mind slimming down a bit between now and then. Going back to CRON seems the best and easiest way for me to do that and remain healthy. I'm getting tons of exercise now because I spend 20 hours a week doing field work on my bike for my job. All that exercise plus CRON should help me lose weight pretty easily. Hopefully I can resist the urge to lose too fast!

I've taken the old CRON-o-Meter out of mothballs, dusted it off, and started building a diet up. It's funny, I've been out of touch with this healthy way of eating for quite awhile now, but playing with CRON-o-Meter reminds me that I already have a very good repertoire of CR-friendly foods I really like that instantly come to mind. Getting back to CRON is in many ways easier than first starting it. However, missing in this next attempt is that mad energy and enthusiasm that accompanies any sort of turning over of a new leaf. I hope to talk myself into that enthusiasm between now and tomorrow morning!

I've been to the farmer's market today, and loaded up on summer squashes, green beans (including a variety that is deep purple), and melons--my favorite summer dessert. I've already got my favorite flourless low-carbish sprouted grain tortillas that I like to make veggie/quorn wraps with. Later today I'll be grocery shopping at regular markets to pick up the stuff not available at the farmer's market.

I'll weigh in and take measurements tonight to see where I'm starting from, and begin in earnest tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

Just checking in....

2007-04-22T10:33:00.000-05:00

I don't have any particularly stirring musings to post today, but just wanted to check in, for the discipline if nothing else.

We've had a blast of absolutely gorgeous weather here in Chicago since Friday with temps in the upper 70s and clear sunny skies. I spent a good deal of yesterday manufacturing vitamin D in my skin!

I had my first official training run for the marathon yesterday--just 3 easy miles--but it felt good to re-establish the weekend rituals that marathon training imposes on me: healthy dinner Friday night, early to bed, early to rise Saturday morning, a good run, then a delightfully low-key, yet productive day that begins with an earned sense of self-satisfaction.

Since Tuesday I've had a great CRON week. My averages for the week are good, but not perfect: 93 calories/day over target, and short on protein and Vitamin K, but all other averages are well within acceptable (to me) parameters. This includes a bit of a splurge last night: I attended at a party where I a) drank NO alcohol; and b) nibbled very modestly on the delicious snacks, then dutifully recorded them all in CRON-O-Meter this a.m. The results weren't as bad as I'd expected.

Friday was so beautiful that I walked all the way to work--five miles. Then I did the 3-mile run on Saturday. Everything felt great! But then last night I got soooo hungry. I ate well, but it was a wakeup call: I know from experience that there is no way I will be able to function at my current target calorie level on Saturdays, particularly when my training runs start creeping up above the 5-6 mile mark. Endurance exercisers might recognize what I mean when I say there are times when you experience a deep-down-full-body-hunger that will not be denied. It's a kind of hunger most Americans rarely if ever experience, and it turns food into a kind of orgasmic magical elixir.

The fact is that burning calories at the rate one does in training necessitates the consumption of more fuel, and significant post-run refueling as well. It's just a simple fact I'll need to accept even as it conflicts with the very basic foundation of CRON. But it's a nice excuse to eat more--whoopee! And it's only for 6 months, while CRON is (theoretically) forever. We'll see!

That is all for now. I'll try to post something a bit more interesting in the coming week.

An e-mail to a friend

2007-04-18T19:45:00.000-05:00

I received an announcement today that a friend has decided to do the Paris-Brest-Paris Randonnée this August.

For the uninitiated, this is a 745 mile bike ride in 90 hours with NO support. It's an exercise in self-sufficiency and personal commitment.

I found myself so cheered by his news that I composed a reply that, after I sent it, I realized would be perfect for my blog. It follows at the end of this post.

In addition to getting back to CRON (which I've finally been doing lately), I'm beginning training this weekend for the October marathon here in Chicago. Lengthening my life through calorie-restriction, then shortening it again through ridiculous endurance-running. I've definitely got myself a confused little masochistic streak.

And gentle readers (if any remain, given my hiatus), go ahead and note my falling off the CRON wagon, but then recall what you read right here a couple of months ago:

Quit attempts should be thought of like practice sessions in learning a new skill—at some point one hopes to “get it right,” but one should not put undue hope on any single given quit attempt, and take solace in knowing the probability of success increases with each try.

Indeed. I'm living for that probability right this very second.

Okay, so on to my message to my inspirational cycling friend:

T.C.!

I'm extremely delighted by this pleasant news. Allow me to make it all about me for a moment.

In 1999, as I was hatching my plans to move from DC to Chicago (and my plans were only that: to move here; I had no plans beyond my arrival), I decided to run the Marine Corps Marathon.

I was 29 years old, I'd never been a runner (or an athlete of ANY kind), and I was then--as I am again--about 40 lbs overweight. I also have some mild foot problems that require special running shoes, but thankfully that was an easily solved challenge.

They call my running cohort "Clydesdale." I wasn't terribly amused by that, but then again, Clydesdales are very sturdy, handsome horses, and they haul beer around, so what's not to like?

The point is that as I was contemplating major life changes, and I needed a powerful shot of confidence, proof that I could muster a bit of some weird thing called "discipline," and actually finish a long-term, hard project before I packed up the truck and headed west. I conjured up the idea that in running the marathon at the end of my time in DC, I wasn't running away from my old life, but running towards my new one.

I trained for six months, and then I ran (and sometimes hobbled) that race, crossing the finish line barely before they closed the event. Then I came to Chicago and staggered around on unsteady legs for several weeks. I was wrecked physically, but high as a kite emotionally.

It was easily in my top three majorly awesome life-changing experiences (even above my first CCM) [Author's Note: CCM is "Chicago Critical Mass"]. That sounds corny, but I'm a sentimental guy, and I was as self-satisfied as I could be. I also didn't feel too badly about raising nearly $2000 for AIDS (it was a fund-raising program), though that wasn't honestly why I did it. I did it for me.

Here I am at 36, fat again, getting ready to finish school and start my interim-career (yep, working for you-know-who), and finally making some serious and steady progress on the novel I've been belaboring for years (that's my REAL career). I'm at another crossroads, another moment when my whole life is gonna change around again. Everything's good--no everything's GREAT, but...I need a serious kick-start to push me out of the gate. Not to mix metaphors.

So, coincidentally I've decided to train for and run another marathon, and my training begins soon. Of course, what you are doing requires a much greater level of commitment and self-sufficiency than doing a marathon, but I bet the results will be similar in some ways.

While I don't really know what your reasons are (or mine for that matter), I bet there's at least a bit of some of the following: Maybe we are having pre-midlife-crises? Maybe we want our youthful bodies back, and all the fun and health and even MORE fun that promises. Maybe we're hoping to impress others (at least a little). Maybe we're bored, or curious. Maybe we're in pain (physical, psychological, spiritual), and more pain seems like it might be curative, like some bizarre metaphysical homeopathy. Personally, I sometimes wonder if I'm looking for ways to dig the knife in a little deeper and give it a twist--after all, it can't feel worse than what I've been doing to myself over the last six years, with all my addictions and self-destructive impulses. It's like a bleeding, a cleansing ritual. Maybe you just wanna see France by bike, and I wanna see the backsides of 44,999 other runners.

Whatever the reasons, I promise you will enjoy what happens to your body along the way (provided you're careful to avoid injuries--and injuries are NOT inevitable but preventable, so do take care).

But the big surprise to me was realizing that these things train our minds as much as, no--more than--our bodies. Endurance sports require, to my mind, a great deal of mental discipline that is much more difficult than meeting the physical demands we place on ourselves. Our bodies are just the vehicles, and they are very adaptive and malleable ones, at that. Our minds are where resistance is located. That's where the real workout is. Enjoy this trip--it's mind-blowing. You'll be a whole new T.C. when this is over. (Not that there's anything wrong with the old one.)

I'm really excited for you, and I'll read your blog faithfully. (Actually, I read anything you write. I dig your "voice.") So make sure you actually post to it.

And thanks for the shot of inspiration on this depressingly gray, damp, April (the cruellest month) day. My conviction was wavering today, but now I'm fired up again!

yours,

--Chris

Just checking in.

2007-03-22T09:01:00.000-05:00

This started out as a quick "hey there--I'm still alive!" post, but as I got into it, well...

First, I assure anyone reading that I haven't truly disappeared. These long breaks between posts are simply the result of my being so busy with work and school that I haven't had much time for the blog--or for CR, for that matter. My CR practice is all but suspended at the moment, but I remain committed to it, and as soon as things settle down, I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.

Next week is my spring break, and I will spend it helping my beleaguered mother care for her ailing parents, so she can take a break herself. Grandma and Grandpa are old (96 and 79, respectively), and Grandma has been fighting off a rare infection in her lungs called nocardia, a bacteria that typically infects only immunocompromised patients or those with damaged lungs. Grandma was a smoker for many years, and her lungs are full of scar tissue (amazingly, no cancer). She's also immunocompromised by virtue of being old and frail. Over the last year she has been in and out of the hospital a dozen times in as many months. Last year she spent two months in a long-term care facility, trying to recover enough strength that she could go home and do simple things like cook for herself and bathe.

Grandpa isn't much help: though mentally sharp, his body is failing him too. He's been diagnosed with an "age-related" condition called spinal stenosis for the last 10 years or so. It's a narrowing of the spinal canal that squeezes on the spinal cord and nerves. For him, it results in numb legs after a short time standing, so he can't do much walking before he starts losing sensation in his legs. Back when surgery was still a viable option, he was afraid of the risks. Now he's too old and frail for the surgery. Coupled with that, he had an old and deteriorated hip replacement touched up surgically a couple years ago, and things never returned to normal afterward. He gets around with a walker, and can bathe and feed himself, but is in no condition to be a care-giver to his equally frail wife.

Grandpa is 96--that's pretty old by almost anyone's definition. But his quality of life sucks. He can't get around, has nothing to do, and we all believe he is probably depressed (he is rarely willing to cop to physical pain--admitting emotional pain is not part of his stoic constitution).

Grandma would almost certainly be in much better shape had she not smoked cigarettes all those years. But she battled alcoholism, and dealing with that--which she has done quite successfully (sober for something like 30 years)--made the smoking seem less a problem--something to put off until sobriety was a part of her life again.

I am grateful that so far, they've been able to live at home with relative independence despite their failing conditions. But that's thanks to my mother looking after them constantly. My mom's been a superhero through all this--I guess that's what we do for our parents.

This whole experience has been instructive for me--particularly in light of all I've learned about health and nutrition since I started reading about CR last November. The pair of them are simultaneously a great example of lots that's wrong with how we live--and lots that's right. They are old, and they have survived a lot--so it doesn't seem unreasonable for me to conclude that, in terms of genetics, I probably have a decent shot at a long and healthy life--if I take their situation as a lesson, and make wiser choices now.

I have to live at least 60 more years to catch up with Grandpa (and likely longer--he's not dead yet!). I plan to do that, and I'd like to do it well, with strength, self-sufficiency, and the knowledge that at 96, I will still be capable of seeking out and experiencing the pleasures of life.

So I am acknowledging two things to myself right now: 1) I will get on the ball with this CR lifestyle by year's end, and 2) I will not add to my stress and at times overwhelmingly hectic life by beating myself up for not doing it right now.

I started flirting with CR in November, after Thanksgiving. If it takes me a full twelve months to achieve, at last, a single full month of committed CR practice, so be it. Grand life changes are difficult, take time, and the most important lessons are learned slowly.

I do have some good news that I believe will make getting my lifestyle under control a little easier: I have a job lined up for May, when I pseudo-finish school. I say that because I was meant to graduate in May, but it turns out I'll be short a few credit hours and will have to squeeze in a class or two part-time over the next year while I experience gainful full-time employment for the first time in more than five years.

I'll give more specific information about my burgeoning career in a future post, but for now I'll say simply that I'll be working for a non-profit advocacy organization whose mission I've been committed to for many years. And it's not just an administrative job like all my others. I will be a program manager, and in time, the expert in my field--not just in Chicago, but in all of the United States. That's not meant to sound grandiose--it's just that Chicago is a leading city for my field.

I consider earning this job to be the fulfillment of a commitment I made to myself after getting laid off in 2002. I returned to school with a plan to change my life and do something good. I set my sights on this organization, and five years later I have the job. Sometimes I fail to take credit for my successes, for the systematic way I took all the necessary steps to arrive here. I had a loosely defined plan (which is about as close as I get to "ambition"), I allowed myself to be influenced and motivated by good people along the way, and now I have what I set out to get five years ago.

Best of all, my new career has nothing whatsoever to do with my degree. When I returned to school at the age of 32, I vowed to study something I found interesting and fulfilling to me personally (Latin American and Latino Studies), without regard for career. I believed things would work out if I was true to myself and my values, and it turns out I was right. I have received a wonderful gift, to be able to live like this, and I want to prolong it as long as I can.

And I'm mindful that I'm just starting a real career at the age of 36, and while I may only be a post-pubescent teenager in CR years, I'm still beginning perhaps a decade late compared to my peers who are graduating and beginning the careers in their early twenties. So, obviously I must live longer (and even longer!) so that I can enjoy a similar--or even longer (longer longer)--career! CR is my ticket to do it--I believe that--so now I have yet another reason to get back to CR!

Finally, I'm also continuing work on a novel I started last year, and what creative energy that remains after my writing for school has been funneled into that instead of the blog. It's a passion of mine that needs to be nurtured at all costs, and one of those costs is the frequency of my blogging. Sorry--but any of you who are artists of one sort or another understand what happens when a creative endeavor begins to gather critical mass and take off.

So, that's where I'm at right now. Thanks to those of you who left comments wondering what had become of me. I'm right here, and I'm still reading the blogs and the e-mail list. I swear I'll be back in full-force when this semester is over!

Existential Crisis!

2007-03-03T09:03:00.000-06:00

I have some great news: I am not suicidal!

I'd always suspected that I was not suicidal, but how could I have ever known for sure? I mean, it's really easy to sit there and say, "I want to be alive! Living is great!" But where do you find your proof? How do you know your desire to be alive springs from a passionate lust for life, or some sense of purpose, and isn't just instinctive and reflexive, the product of the basic survival impulse?

However bad things get, however defeated I ever might feel in an individual moment, it seems that I generally return to an optimistic attitude. I know that I can probably have a good life and make a difference, and all that stuff. But sometimes I wonder, "what's the point of it all," and "why bother?"

I realize that I am not breaking any new ground here, and people far more well-read and well-spoken and intelligent and possessed of more philosophical curiosity than I have waxed eloquently about these questions for, like, a really long time. If I have nothing new to say about these things, then, what am I going on about here? Well, a week or two ago, this question popped into my head, unbidden:

"Why would I want to live even LONGER...when this is all meaningless, and I could die today and I wouldn't even care because I'd be dead, so I wouldn't know any better, right?" What would I want with all that extra time? Why not just "live it up" now and who cares when I croak, if it's at 50 or 80 or 120?

It occurred to me that this was a really, really important question to discover an answer to if I seriously want to do CRON (or any other healthful thing) for the purpose of longevity. It seems to me that if you are asking for more time, you should have some sort of idea what you plan to do with it. I realized I wasn't sure.

This sophomoric existential crisis was looming large a week or so ago when, in an intensely strange moment while I was preparing my (decidedly non-CRON) dinner, I vividly imagined having a massive heart attack and dropping right there in my kitchen. Making the moment more surreal was the fact that opera music was streaming from the living room (something from Prairie Home Companion). I felt like I was in some kind of artsy movie. The diva was wailing, and I imagined myself on my knees, clutching my chest, begging, "No! Not now! Wait...it's too soon! I have so much to do!" before slipping into the darkness.

I stood there, paralyzed, waiting to see if it was really happening. You know the funny way time seems to stretch out and everything goes slow-mo when something horrible and traumatic is happening, when seconds seem like minutes, and minutes seem like hours? I found myself stricken with the idea that I was in the midst of a sudden, surprising death, and time was stretching out forever, so I could experience every moment of it. Not that I was experiencing any bodily sensations or anything--this was all in my head.

When I'd recovered my senses (just in time to drain the gaky pasta I was cooking), I couldn't help but chuckle with relief, that kind of insane chuckle that really isn't because something was funny, but rather, served as a pressure-release valve we sometimes need after averting disaster. I mean, obviously I was relieved that I wasn't really having a heart attack. But more than that, I felt an intense relief to suddenly know for sure that I actually wanted rather seriously to be alive, as opposed to descending into the aforementioned sophomoric existential crisis.

I know that all sounds so silly, but I realized that I've never really been endangered in a way that made me seriously fear for my life. My mortality has never posed much threat. It's been more theoretical than actual.

I suppose that sureal moment (revelation? ephiphany?) was at least in part the result of all my new knowledge about health and nutrition, and the tension inherent between all that knowledge and my continued bad behavior.

I'm sure I was fantasizing what I actually do fear will be the likely consequence of my continuing the path I've been on. That path has been strewn with fitful, sporadic CRON practice, peppered with frightening bouts of ad lib abandon. I was in the midst of preparing macaroni and cheese, a meal so off my CRON list it shouldn't even be recognized as food so much as poison!

I realized something else: I've been thinking of my bad feelings about food as "guilt" and "shame," but those are imprecise characterizations of something that I think is much more primal. I think, at least for me, my bad food feelings spring from fear. I was suddenly imagining what was going to happen to me thanks to the very food I was preparing that moment.

Guilt came next, in the moment I realized I wasn't having a heart attack and everything was fine. As I shoveled greasy forkfulls of macaroni and cheese into my mouth, I felt like, "Ha! I've gotten away with it again!" But getting away with something always makes me feel guilty. This is why I cannot bear to play practical jokes on my friends--if I get away with it, if I fool them, I feel guilty!

So, what does all this mean? I guess the answer is, "I don't really know." It's a relief to be made aware in no uncertain terms that I don't want to die, that in fact I'd prefer most strenuously to remain alive. I never did think I was suicidal, but isn't it nice to know for sure? But I also know that if I want to stick with CRON, I need a plan. I need a goal. I need a rationale for prolonging the time that I plan to spend here, a justification for the greater amount of resources I will then have to consume in order to do that, for the greater footprint I will leave on the environment.

The answer, it seems to me, is that I must do something good. I need to prolong my life, and most especially, the period of my life during which I am most robust, because there are some good things I am meant to do, and they take more time than I'll have if I continue the way I have been. What are these good things I have to do? I have no idea. But I'd prefer to have the luxury of time in which to figure out the answer to that question. And so, I must do CRON.

Existential crisis averted, for now....

Bad Mantra, or "This is the blog where I say 'fuck' a lot."

2007-02-18T10:55:00.000-06:00

As often happens, I was inspired this morning to write after reading a blog entry of a fellow CRON practitioner, Emily (http://cron-emily.blogspot.com/), who was expressing frustration over her recent lapse into making some food choices that she felt regretful about.

First, I recognize this frustration, but just for a little reality check, let's consider the foods in which she indulged during her moments of weakness:

cereal
chocolate
almonds
tortilla with peanut butter and jam

These are hardly the food equivalents of a shot of heroin, so let's not completely freak out here. You wanna know what my recent binges included?

pizza (delivery)
donuts
Chinese food (delivery)
wine (lots of it)
more pizza
monte cristo sandwich (ham, turkey, cheese, on FRENCH TOAST!) and fries--FRIES!!!
even more pizza
did I mention pizza?

Aw, fuck it.

That's what the old me would have said. I have a long history of attempting some life-change, "failing," and saying "Aw, fuck it" and simply abandoning the cause entirely. I'd done it so many times that "Aw, fuck it" had become something of a mantra for me. Not the kind of mantra that helps organize and quiet the mind. No, this is a bad mantra. A self-defeating mantra. A self-indulgent mantra that serves the purpose of giving me all the excuse I need to head to Dunkin' Donuts for an old fashioned buttermilk donut, chocolate frosted cake donut, and glazed chocolate cake donut. I sure like me some cake donuts.

Not to sound all pop-psychology-self-helpish, but we shouldn't underestimate the power of our self-talk. Saying "aw fuck it" is just another tool for making sense of the choices we are confronted with. It's a poor tool for the job, but it is a tool nonetheless. I know, Emily didn't say "aw, fuck it," but she did say "I felt positive and great and totally in the CRON-groove, and now... I just don't know." That's close enough. It may say "I just don't know," but it whispers "aw fuck it." It's just a few slides down that slippery slope from "I just don't know" to "aw, fuck it."

We need to become more skilled at opening up our tool boxes, surveying what's in there, and then--with the job in mind--choosing the best one to get it done. When we stray from our plan, we can say "aw fuck it," and go completely off the rails--that's what I used to do all the time. Or we can say, "oh well, it's not like I can't try again. And again. And again. However many times it takes until it sticks." The tool of negative self-talk makes us feel badly, and still it doesn't get the job done. Like beating on our thumb with a hammer, when we're supposed to be using wrench to tighten down a bolt.

The other issue here, besides the unhelpful ways we talk to ourselves about what we are doing, is our notion of what constitutes success. I argue that an attempt itself is a success, and every attempt, regardless of its outcome, should be applauded. We should be all self-congratulatory AND self-satisfied whenever we make an attempt to do whatever the good thing is that we want to do. Not fully succeeding in any attempt just means we get the chance to try again. Each new try offers the possibility of success, even if that's just an incremental success.

Consider this gem from an article on smoking cessation from PubMed Central:

"The most important aspect to smoking cessation is maintaining the motivation to make multiple attempts. Thus, quit attempts should be thought of like practice sessions in learning a new skill—at some point one hopes to “get it right,” but one should not put undue hope on any single given quit attempt, and take solace in knowing the probability of success increases with each try. (read the article)

Hey--you need to read that sentence again:

"Quit attempts should be thought of like practice sessions in learning a new skill—at some point one hopes to “get it right,” but one should not put undue hope on any single given quit attempt, and take solace in knowing the probability of success increases with each try."

You know, that sentence is so smart, we all need to read it one more time:

"Quit attempts should be thought of like practice sessions in learning a new skill—at some point one hopes to “get it right,” but one should not put undue hope on any single given quit attempt, and take solace in knowing the probability of success increases with each try."

I'm not an addiction specialist or anything, but I've certainly wrestled with addictions throughout my adult life (a topic I'm bound to blog about eventually) and I find it all too easy to analogize the Standard American Diet with cigarette smoking. It's addictive, destructive, deadly. And I have my own theory about why repeated attempts to quit lead to success.

I think we learn a lot from our unsuccessful attempts to quit things (like the Standard American Diet). We learn about the pangs of withdrawal--what they feel like, what eases them, how long they take to pass; we learn about that ephemeral "pink cloud," that wonderful, carefree high we feel in the first days or weeks of abstinence that inevitably dissipates, leaving us to face the long journey ahead with clear eyes not blinded by the comforting fog of euphoria; we learn about the physical and mental pain of relapse. Knowing all that makes the next attempt easier. Knowing the course ahead makes it easier to bear the pains, and not be unsustainably seduced by the joys.

Future attempts are easier too because we already have a chest full of useful tools to put into service: we already know how to distinguish between good food and gak, we already know how to use the software (don't tell me you aren't using software yet--that's like going to the job site without a tape measure), we already know what our own patterns are, our triggers, we've learned tips and tricks, we have our blogs and our online friends--these are all tools we have immediately available to us as soon as we're ready for our next attempt. These are all tools we didn't have in the beginning, so we are already that much closer to success.

I invite those of us new to CRON to look at it this way: quitting lifelong addictions is hard, it requires many attempts, and since we are all in this for the long haul, whatever is happening today, or whatever happened yesterday, is just a tiny piece of a great big picture. All our many (perhaps frustrated) attempts to "get it right" are a necessary part of our future success, so what we are doing now is good, and helpful, and productive. We'll get there in our own time, some faster than others, if we keep on working at it. And I can assure you, we will most certainly not get there if we say "Aw, fuck it," and quit trying.

If, like me, you are starting CRON all over again today (or tomorrow, or the next day), then remember, the probability of success increases with each try. So keep trying. And don't even let me hear any of you say "Aw, fuck it." I promise not to say it too.

Ack. ACK! Gak-Attack!

2007-02-13T08:46:00.000-06:00

First: how cool is it that my blog has now been commented by April, MR, and MR's Mom? The CR Power Dynasty has recognized my blog as something other than the unfortunate case of verbal diarrhea that it sometimes feels like to me. (And please, no cheery assurances that it's not all so much verbal diarrhea--my self-deprecation is part of my winning personality.) Now, of course, the pressure is on to continue, and I think I actually need some of that "peer pressure" to stay the course, so thanks y'all!

Now on to the Gak Attack

I ate about 2800 calories yesterday, thanks to poor planning coupled with the convenient presence of a Sbarro at the cafeteria at school. The 960-calorie slice of saturated fat basically obliterated my nutrition for the day. I'd been doing field work for my job all afternoon, which meant biking around town in temps in the 20s, getting really cold, and really tired, and really vulnerable. I already knew this was a risk from last time, but somehow hadn't learned my lesson yet, I guess.

Worse, this has been a regular occurrence lately as I struggle to keep up with competing responsibilities and find meal planning to be hard to fit in.

Get this: I spent Sunday planning and executing a working recipe for what I'm calling "MegaSoup," a recipe I engineered in CRON-O-Meter to provide 10% or better of all nutrients per 100-calorie serving (although I eat more like 200-calories worth in a serving). I got pretty close to that goal (it's much easier to engineer a soup than a baked good like the MegaMuffins), and it tastes delicious. The whole recipe provides 11 servings. Along with my MegaMuffins, it should have provided easy, convenient grab-n-go options to take to school with me for the week.

Did my plan work? No. Why? I don't have any food-storage containers suitable for soup (keep it from leaking in my bag, microwave safe, etc.) I forgot to buy some when I was shopping for ingredients, so the soup sits in a big pot in my fridge, waiting to spoil instead of getting eaten. Such SILLINESS!

It seems that when times are tough, the most recently instituted habits are the first to get tossed out the window in favor of the familiar.

I've been stuffing my gob with gak at an alarming frequency and it MUST stop post-haste. I feel terrible. Where's my energy? Where's my feeling of well-being? Where's my self-satisfaction at a job well-done? Arghhh! [As an aside, the Urban Dictionary defines "gak" variously as slang for certain extremely addictive stimulant drugs. Appropriating the term for horrible food, therefore, seems more than appropriate.]

With no good news to report on the nutrition front, I figured this was a good time to point out--to myself as much as to anyone else--one of the seemingly obvious yet wildly ignored hazards of the Standard American Diet (SAD).

Although I did consume impressive quantities of protein and most minerals yesterday, I finished a nearly-3000 calorie day (!!) with just 12% of my vitamin C, 32% vitamin E, and 26% vitamin K. Sound unbelievable? It should, but sadly it doesn't. If that huge quantity of food still deprives me of such important nutrients--and I was actually paying attention to eating good food for the first half of the day--it's really quite startling to imagine how most Americans are getting by.

But there's a bit of good news, a positive way to look at this: the only reason I know about my deficits and overages from yesterday are because despite my feeling gross about what I ate, I dutifully plugged it all into CRON-O-Meter (as you should all be doing), so I could appropriately assess the damage and remind myself why I'm doing all this.

Working with nutrient targets is sort of like working with a financial budget. I'm more likely to watch my spending when I know how much I have and how much things cost, and plan ahead, usually with the help of a spreadsheet or at least notes scribbled on paper. Ignoring all the facts and figures does not lead to financial health (or plain old survival, for that matter). It leads to over spending, late payments, bad credit, poverty, homelessness and death! (Or at least unwanted and unnecessary psychological distress.)

Food budgeting is the same. If we're not tracking our nutrient info in CRON-O-Meter (or something similar), we really have NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE EATING. It's just that simple. So the take home message of this entry is: record everything you eat, no matter how embarrassing or disgraceful it all seems. JUST DO IT. For people like me, seeing the damage in black and white is a very powerful motivator to make voluntary changes to diet.

The software also facilitates a powerful sense of accomplishment: I can't lose 40 pounds and live forever TODAY, but I most certainly can eat food that provides 100% or better of all the important nutrients I need in a relatively small number of calories.

Nutrition software: JUST DO IT!

Greetings, and a Couple Recipes

2007-01-28T11:16:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged for ages. Why? I'm taking a heavy course load this semester so I can graduate in May, and also working part-time. I simply don't have time for much, unfortunately.

I've been eating dreadfully too, as a result of lack of time and failure to spend what time I can manage to plan meals. I need to develop a routine whereby on the weekend I plan out the meals of the week ahead and shop accordingly. Then I need to cook much of the food over the weekend, and portion it out in handy containers for lunches at school and maybe even dinners, since I so often drag myself in at the end of the day with no energy to cook or even open the fridge to see what's in there (which usually isn't much).

So, that's today's project, to spend some time and brain power on this today and tomorrow. Otherwise I'm going to wind up making my my life harder, as my body suffers the ill-effects of a gak-laden diet which certainly won't provide me the energy I need.

For you dessert fans, I wanted to share the following treat, a meal that eats like a dessert.

Toasted MegaMuffin with Blueberry Sauce

Take about a 1/2 cup of blueberries (frozen is great) and put into a saucepan with some sucralose (to taste), a squirt of fresh lemon juice, and some grated lemon zest. Cinnamon, vanilla, and almond extracts are all good additions. For a touch of the exotic, try a dash or two of rose water--rose and blueberry is a gorgeous and flavor combination: you can tell there's something unusual in there, but it's subtle and elusive.
Simmer until the berries break down and you reduce the liquid enough to thicken it somewhat. (You may have to add a few drops of water to get the simmering process started).
Split a MegaMuffin and chuck it into the toaster (or in your regular oven) while you are simmering the blueberries.
Remove MegaMuffin from the toaster (or oven), put in a bowl, and pour the blueberry syrup over it. (If you need some fat for the day, a drizzle of flax oil before the berry sauce is sublime.)
Eat while your eyes roll back in your head and you wonder why you ever wanted cake with frosting.
Imagine endless variations with other fruits and flavors.

Kale Chips

I've struggled to eat my kale. I chomp and chomp and after awhile I just can't face another bite. So I'm delighted to report that it is possible to turn leafy, chewy kale into a delightful crispy snack food that isn't out of place as an accompaniment to watching a movie: Kale Chips.

Chop or tear a large quantity of kale leaves into small pieces (they will shrink so much in the oven that a mountain of kale is reduced to a mere mole hill)
Drizzle with the smallest quantity of olive oil that coats the leaves enough to allow a bit of salt (or other flavoring--I'm going to try brewers yeast) to stick. You should be able to get by with a teaspoon if you take some time to really toss the kale until it's all lightly coated. Cooking spray might be an alternative.
Spread out in a thin layer on a cookie sheet (parchment helps); you'll likely have to do several batches.
Bake in low oven until dry and crispy (I started out with too-high a temp and some of the leaves browned which is less desirable; try between 250-300 degrees).
Pour into a bowl and snack away, or bag 'em for later.

These are incredibly light and crispy, and though some of that cruciferous bitterness gets a bit concentrated, I still found them to be highly palatable. I offered them to friends and everyone was amazed that these light crispy little delights were actually kale. And because their volume is so reduced by the elimination of all the water, you can easily consume 1/2 pound of raw kale in a handful or two of easy to chew and swallow crispy Kale Chips.

"Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time."

2007-01-28T10:27:00.000-06:00

That quotation from François Voltaire seems a good way to start out today's belated Gratuitous Musing.

But first, a note about my recent silence: I started back to school the week before last, and am taking a lot of classes, plus working part-time. As time evaporates, I'm finding it difficult to spend as much time on the blog during the week. The blog is an important tool for my CR practice, and I really relish working on it, but have to keep my priorities clear so I can graduate in May. So, please pardon any longish delays between posts. I really appreciate that folks are reading and drawing some usefulness from my prattle, and I'll keep posting, just a bit less frequently. Now on to today's Gratuitous Musing.

If you haven't read "On Setting a Good Example," over at Apri's blog (1/24/07), do so at once, then come back and read this entry, which was inspired by it.

April writes:

"I'd have to admit, I've been a bit concerned as of late that some of you have the idea that I'm some sort of ice queen of food perfection. I mean, you sounded so shocked when I ate some hummus! If you want food discipline perfection, you've got to look to MR. Cause I do pretty well, much better than ever before, but I'm by no means invincible. That's one reason why I build a little margin into my daily calories, so that I don't end up messing up my long term CR program. Life happens! It's okay!"

The unfortunately conjoined-twin subjects of CR'ers behaving in non-CR-like ways, and the emotional and psychological gymnastics we perform in order to cope with our slip-ups, have been a recurrent theme in the CR newbie blogosphere since I entered the discussion a few weeks back. I've commented on it before myself in my "Shut the Hell Up on Pain of Bitch Slap" post.

I am one of the few males I know who wrestles openly with my self-demands for perfection, and the inevitable failures for which I then scold and criticize myself. I say "openly" because many--perhaps most--men experience self-doubt, lack of confidence, fear of failure, dissatisfaction with achievement, fear of being judged weak, and on and on, but almost as many seem to be conditioned to avoid expressing it. I don't know how those tough dudes work it out, but I get through it by boring a few very select, dear, close friends (plus the whole CR newbie blogosphere) to death with my mutterings. They then set me straight (er...so to speak).

Speaking of straight, I dunno, maybe the fact that I'm gay has something to do with all this. I was certainly exposed to some specific sorts of unfair pressures growing up. I lacked the physical desire to do the sorts of things that the other boys were doing, things that would have established me as a more "normal" member of the tribe. I was a deviant in the purely sociological sense: I was different. It's no surprise I developed my closest, longest-lasting relationships with females, people who make up just over half the population of the United States and still somehow are still treated as if they are "other" or "different" from normal (which is of course white, male, and heterosexual). Perhaps I absorbed more than just companionship from my close platonic friendships with girls who were carrying around--or struggling against--society's ludicrous and oppressive gender baggage.

Now as a young(ish) gay male adult, it's easy for me to see some similarities in the pressures I face to those of many women in our society, including the pressure to look a certain way. Tyra Banks was recently mocked for being 30lbs heavier now than at the height of her modelling career. Noel Gallagher of Oasis described Jack White (from the White Stripes) as "Zorro on donuts." Okay. So these wildly successful, career-oriented, accomplished folks gained a little weigh. That somehow means they should be publicly ridiculed? Society demands perfection and so breathlessly and gladly sneers at anything less.

I commit the unspeakable sin of being too fat for a gay man. Try being a youngish urban gay male AND too fat, and then try to get noticed by gymbot physical-perfection-obsessed urban gay male society. My basic identity has long included being constantly aware that I'm not perfect. My fear of being too fat inevitably becomes an element of my CR goals and practice. How could it not? Enter my obsession with perfection, as expressed by that Embittered Nasty Little Troll: "Oh no! You ate a chicken burrito with sour cream and cheese at Chipotle Mexican Grill for an astonishing 1200 (delicious) calories! You failed! If you can't do it perfectly, you can't do it at all. Might as well say 'fuck it' and hop right off the wagon." You guys see why I don't like to listen to this guy, right? He's such a dick.

I had a friend in my hometown of Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who like me wanted nothing more than to leave town and live somewhere else, somewhere cool like Chicago. In 1993, at the age of 22, I packed whatever I could fit in a big suitcase and headed east to Washington, DC, where I lived for six years before moving here to Chicago. I did my messy and exciting and and tragi-comic growing up in DC (The drugs! The booze! The sex! The really bad food!), then came to Chicago to enjoy my maturity. Soon after moving to Chicago, I visited my friend in Ft. Wayne who still wanted to move to Chicago himself, so badly. But he was going to wait until he could "do it right." I wasn't sure what "right" meant, but whatever it was, it kept him in Ft. Wayne, where he remains today. Granted, much more is at stake with relocating than eating a burrito, but still my friend had a sense of perfection that, if he couldn't achieve it, immobilized him--quite literally. He didn't even try.

Meanwhile, people who appear to actually be perfect in some way get stuck in a different kind of trap: if perfection is the achieved norm, then losing that perfection becomes a constant concern and source for fear. The risks in fear-driven behavior are many, and include the propensity to be very annoying and humorless.

And let's not forget there are some unpleasant forms of perfection. There are people who seem to have perfected being assholes. Some politicians have demonstrated that they are perfect idiots. Some manage to commit the "perfect crimes," and the perfect aspect in grammar has caused more than a few headaches for students of languages.

So, I think it's more than totally cool that someone who is a visible and charismatic proponent of CR publicly acknowledges her imperfection and the struggles that make CR challenging for her, even after years of practice. Especially for us newbies, this candor about struggle is also absolutely necessary in order to build an authentic, solidly supportive community that we hope will grow into larger grass-roots movement.

Adjusting to this lifestyle is HARD, even on the very easy, low-hunger days, and I don't trust anyone who tells me "it was nothing." It's such a radical departure from what we are used to. Food is so emblematic, so tied to tradition and ritual, that we sometimes feel we are cutting ourselves loose from our moorings, set adrift in a strange and by turns inviting and intimidating sea. There's no way that sort of heavy transformation isn't gonna hurt. We are going to stumble around in the dark, stubbing our toes on the furniture, and then when we finally find the light switch and flip it on, we'll see that the room is a mess, and it's going to take awhile to clean it up. And we have to find a place for all the clutter before we can even think about vacuuming the floor, or dusting, or repainting.

It's so great to be able to stumble around and yet keep going, and that's easier when we can be reminded that the experienced CR folks still stumble too. The trap of perfectionism is not going to turn out to be a useful tool for making this transformation. Put on some old ripped jeans and a stained t-shirt and prepare to get messy. Prepare to come up with a brilliant plan today for your "perfect" quotidian diet, and then find yourself at Chipotle Mexican Grill tomorrow. Prepare to make four trips to Chiptole Mexican Grill this month, but only three next month. And only two the month after that. And then sometime two years from now, to look back and say, "I haven't been to Chipotle Mexican Grill for six months...maybe I should....naw, I don't really want it that much anymore."

Prepare to think about this lifestyle in terms of months and years, not days and weeks, and readjust your notion of what perfection is. Perfection is not "all or nothing," and this isn't a "zero-sum game." Perfection is a process, not a goal. Perfection is deciding what you want to do, then taking frequent and steady--albeit small--steps towards that goal, steps that include stumbles, stubbed toes, maybe even an all-out face plant or two. Just remeber that even stumbling, you are moving forward. Even taking two steps forward and one step back still makes progress.

I'm not just musing gratuitously here. I'm engaging in a therapeutic reframing of my own successes and failures, because lately, since going back to school, I feel like I've been doing CR more in theory than in practice. Not yet fully comfortable with my new tools, in moments of weakness I've been choosing some old, comforting ones. For every three good days, I have one bad.

I haven't been successful at keeping my calories as low as my target, and my weight loss--one of the easiest but also most psychologically loaded metrics--has leveled off at just five pounds since January 1st. Maybe I'll hit that magic eight pounds by January 31, but I doubt it. So I probably won't meet my first monthly target.

But not so fast: I lost five pounds and stayed that way! My jeans fit noticeably looser! That means despite my stumbles, I really did ratchet down my calorie consumption enough to lose weight, and that is undeniable progress, just a bit slower than I anticipated. But who cares about two or three pounds when I want to do this for the rest of my (long) life? For the month of February, I'll set a more modest goal: instead of having three good days followed by one bad, maybe I'll try for four good days in a row, followed by one not-so-bad?

So down with perfection, and up with progress! I just want to be happy with moving steadily forward with the rest of you on our long, slow journey!

Supplementation, Redux

2007-01-23T08:28:00.000-06:00

Did I really get a comment on my blog from Michael Rae? Isn't that like a bike racer having Lance Armstrong comment on his blog?

It seems all I need to do is propose a reckless supplementation program to get individualized attention!

His response was so thorough that I felt compelled to repost his initial recommendations for anyone who is reading my blog and maybe didn't read the comments. Also, I'm finding it difficult to do much original posting now that the semester is in full swing AND I'm working. I'm also not eating as well--I'm having "growing pains" as I figure out how to do CR on the run. I do believe establishing that "quotidian diet" will help with that. And the MegaMuffin!

The good news, I suppose, is that my weight loss stopped, and that's good while I figure out what I'm doing. No sense melting away at too fast a pace for good health and longevity.

MR says:

Congrats on doing this carefully, supplementing nutrients that you need based on detailed nutrition analysis rather than just shotgunning everything. Do have a look at the following for some principles for supplementation:

CRON-WEB's Definitive Guide to Supplementation
Lates Science in Vitamin & Mineral Research

... and the products based on this research (whose writeups give much of the above info in more compressed form):

AOR Essential Mix

AOR Multi Basics 3

AOR Orthocore

See my important disclosure here:
http://lists.calorierestriction.org/pipermail/crcomm_lists.calorierestriction
[link currently broken :( ]

Wow--thanks MR!

Supplementation

2007-01-21T07:59:00.000-06:00

Sorry I've been quiet the past couple of days. Just busy and/or tired. Today's entry will be dull, I'm afraid. No Gratuitous Musings today (though I have a a few in the works, so stay tuned).

I've decided, after a few weeks of CR, that it's time to add supplements to my routine--but just a few. I never knew much about vitamins and minerals because I never really paid much attention to what I was getting from my food. Food labels would have you believe the only things you need to pay attention to are Vitamins A and C, and the minerals Calcium and Iron. Sodium is the only mineral labels report by actual number of milligrams, while the rest just give percentages that may or may not reflect my needs.

Like most people, I always assumed that I was getting everything I needed if only because of the sheer volume of food I was eating (wrong), much of it artificially enriched.

What nutrients have I been lacking?

Like every other aspect of my eating routine, CRON-O-Meter has radically affected my understanding of my micronutrient needs and intake, and revealed some potential problems:

Vitamin D: Unless you delight in eating sardines on a daily basis or consume large quantities of fortified dairy products, it's extremely difficult to get adequate vitamin D, and recent list chatter suggests this vitamin is more important (and required in greater quantities) than we have thought in the past.
Zinc: I never knew before that men require so much more zinc. It's roughly analogous to a woman's need for iron, and like women, related to our reproductive equipment. But I'm not happy to eat oysters every day (or any day, really...I have not yet acquired the "taste" for these snotty little globs of grayness).
B's: I regularly find myself short on various B vitamins, but never the same ones, so determining one that I'm typically short on was impossible.
Biotin: While it's extremely unlikely that I am biotin deficient (especially since I've given up on my recent "discovery" of using raw (pasteurized) egg whites in my breakfast smoothies, when I read the list of symptoms, I had to acknowledge that it got my attention: hair and skin problems similar to ones I regularly experience. (I still wonder of pasteurization makes it safe for biotin: cooking egg whites denatures their protein in a way that prevents its binding to biotin, but since the pastuerized egg whites won't "whip up," I wonder if the process also makes them safe for biotin. I don't know how I'll figure out the answer to that one.)

How did I decide which nutrients to supplement?

I reviewed CRON-O-Meter nutrition reports that averaged my intake over the period that I've been doing CR, and looked at which vitamins and minerals were lowest, especially below 80%. This included the following:

Various B's (occasionally)
Vitamin D (regularly)
Vitamin E (occasionally)
Potassium (regularly)
Zinc (regularly)

Some others that I suspected I was low in were actually quite high on average. The only ones that remained low were zinc, Vitamin D, and potassium.

I decided that it was most important to supplement Vitamin D and Zinc; probably safe to supplement B's with a B complex (just to be sure); and to tweak my quotidian diet to fix the vitamin E and potassium deficiencies, which was pretty easy to do with a little attention and a daily MegaMuffin.

Here, then, are the supplements I am now taking:

Vitamin D, 400 IU, from fish liver oil
Chelated Zinc, 50 mg
B-Complex
Biotin, 1000 mcg

I'm interested in any tips and/or advice, and especially if I'm making any big and/or dangerous mistakes here. I'm especially concerned about zinc--is this the best form? What about balancing it with copper--that's something I don't understand very well yet.

It's a learning process, and I want to treat supplements as something very specific and deliberate, rather than the "one a day multi" approach most people take.

Pooping in the blogoshpere

2007-01-18T08:59:00.000-06:00

I hope you all are doing well, and thanks for all the support yesterday with my Skull and Crossbones dilemma. I am so much looking forward to going to the brunch now that I've resolved (with your help) my ambivalent feelings about what's "okay" for me to do, and confronted and (I think) disarmed my guilt reflex in advance. It takes time to make peace with food and all the emotional baggage attached to it. But I've never had it as easy as I do now. I hope it's not too sappy to say--especially for a man (but then I am a very sensitive type of man, after all)--but it feels like an emotional and physical healing is taking place, and you are all part of this effective treatment, so thanks for being there!

By the way, I find it interesting to note that it seems most of the blogs, and most of the comments on my blog, are created by women. Where are the men? There is something culturally interesting going on here, that both women and men are doing CR, but the support network seems heavily weighted towards women...this seems a good topic for a future blog. Your thoughts, ladies?

The picture to the right is beautiful psyllium, which in its herbal state, is really quite lovely and delicate in appearance--I think I would welcome it in my herb garden (if I had one)--especially when you consider the rather indelicate function it often serves. Yes, I'm going to talk about poop, here in public. But before you jump to the conclusion that my blog has descended into the e-toilet, let's talk about MegaMuffins, because as you'll see, in the same way MegaMuffins inevitably lead to good poop, MegaMuffin discussions can lead to good poop discussions.

I am flush with the fervor of the recently converted. I'm ready to go tell it on the mountain, to knock on doors, to rouse people from their slumber to let them know about the miracle of the Mighty MegaMuffin.

It's really quite impossible to overstate the allure of the MegaMuffin. It is the ultimate convenience food--so easy, and so satisfying that every time I eat one, I feel like I'm "cheating" (if there is such a thing). MegaMuffins have single-handedly saved my CR program during this hectic first week back to school, just as I was counting on them too. Isn't it great when you open your toolbox and find just the tool you needed for the job, waiting for you? MegaMuffins are like a super-fancy nutrition bar, only I made it myself and I know exactly what's in it and none of the ingredients frighten me (well, okay maybe one or two are sort of creepy). I trust the mighty MegaMuffin. Mighty MegaMuffin--I [heart] you!

I made my inaugural batch last weekend, and I wasn't able to obtain a couple of the ingredients, so it's hard to know if what I produced is like the MegaMuffins others make. But I guess that doesn't really matter--I like them, and on more than a couple occasions they've been the sole barrier between a good CR day and an ad lib disaster.

I see room for improvement though. I think I want to pump up the flavor with more spices. I'm the type who, when making a pumpkin pie, automatically doubles the spices called for in the recipe because I like it spicy and most people are spiceaphobic. And where's the vanilla? Vanilla is a must! I can't believe I didn't think to add some in the first place. And though there is already an entire orange (peel and all) in the recipe, I can't help feeling the flavor could be brightened considerably with the addition of a judicious amount of grated lemon zest! Fresh ginger instead of powdered, and a bit of clove, and I think I'll have a recipe tailored just for me.

And then there are the endless variations: why not some almond extract in one batch, and coconut extract in another? How about some rose water (or maybe even some rose hips--lots of vitamin C in those!) and cardamom, for a little Indian flair? It seems the basic ingredients of the muffin are so mild that almost any flavor profile could work. I'll be turning out another batch this weekend, so I'll post details about any delightful new ideas I come up with.

And now for a little graphic exploration of something very private, so tune out NOW if you are squeamish about discussing our elimination habits. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. But I feel compelled to share this in case anyone else has experienced the same problem as me:

During the first couple weeks of my CR practice, I was finding that I needed to have a bowel movement (sometimes quite urgently) after almost every meal, up to three times a day, and the results were not pleasant: loose and watery. I was consuming vastly greater amounts of dietary fiber than in my prior ad lib diet, but I think perhaps I was missing certain types of fiber for bulking up my stools, with the inevitable watery result, since it seemed there was nothing to bind it all together.

Enter MegaMuffin. I've been eating at least one of them daily, and sometimes two, and I have to tell you, thanks to all the bran and fruit fibers and the psyllium husks, that watery problem is gone without a trace. I've begun having large, firm (but not hard) stools that I'm able to eliminate without any effort and little mess. I'm convinced I was missing important types of bulking fiber, perhaps of the soluble sort. I haven't had bowel movements this healthy and comfortable and clean and effortless in years. So, that's yet another great thing about MegaMuffins: nice poop.

We'll be talking about poop more in the future, I feel confident. I mean, how long can we go on discussing what goes in without at least some mention of what comes out? But for our first poop discussion, was that really so bad?

The Skull and Crossbones Secret Society!

2007-01-17T08:32:00.000-06:00

A year ago, me and two of my very dear friends/neighbors (we all happen to live in separate apartments in the same house) put on a series of monthly brunches for all of our wide circle of friends--most of them fellow bicyclists--to keep the community tight during the otherwise rather slow winter cycling scene in Chicago. We called it the "Skull and Crossbones Secret Society" (not to be confused with the "skull and bones" or whoever they are at some important university somewhere).

We had a top secret initiation that everyone was subjected to:

"We have cleverly poisoned all the food with a secret toxin that only kills the people who are not fit to be members of the Skull and Crossbones Secret Society. If you eat the food--and survuve--you are automatically a member for life."

The irony in this is that we didn't actually poison the food (surprise), but by serving them the food we offered, we were, in essence, poisoning them with "secret" toxins, and they did survive--for now, anyway. Mountains of waffles, donuts, pancakes, bacon, sausage, gumbo, goose (yes I even roasted geese one time), the list goes on and on. Fruit? Maybe a listless cantaloupe or off-season pineapple. Vegetables? Only if they are completely enrobed in eggs and cheese and cream, in the form of a quiche or fritatta or strata.

But offering that fatty, horrible-yet-so-delicious comfort food to our best of friends on cold winter mornings was such a wonderful opportunity to sustain relationships and comfort one another with cammaraderie and companionship during a time of year that can often seem so isolating. I've missed the brunches lately, and there are people I haven't seen since the summer who would have been here if we'd been doing them still.

So, tonight I discovered in my inbox an invitation from two of the former attendees, a married couple who just had a baby in October (my birth month too). It seems they decided to end their long hibernation with the newborn this Sunday by appropriating the Skull and Crossbones Secret Society and making it their own.

I'm virtually compelled to go, and I really really want to anyway. Certainly the food table will overflow with nothing good for me to eat. I do have choices, but I also have a tendency to be an all-or-nothing kind of guy, and moderation is NOT my strong suit. (This is why I tend to avoid drinking alcohol--even for the health benefits--because I usually find it difficult to stop at one 4oz glass of wine, and it's just better if I don't start at all.) So here's how I see my choices:

Go to the brunch, eat ad lib, and enjoy myself and the feast of badness as a "special occasion;" plan to try to make up for the claories later.
Go to the brunch, eat nothing (unless there's some fruit to nibble on)--and hope no on notices
Make a dish to contribute that meets my needs, and eat only that--and hope no one notices
Don't go to the brunch. People WILL notice this for sure.

I know ultimately I'll end up doing whatever feels right in the moment, but if I at least walk in armed for whatever battle I choose, I'll stand a better chance at not being thoroughly defeated when it's over.

I also think my two ad lib days last week should demonstrate that all is not lost when one has a "bad day," particularly given my otherwise pretty low calorie levels (for a man of my size) for the past two and half weeks. The scale this morning tells me I've lost nine pounds since I started CR on January 1--well over my target, and probably too fast, based on the counsel I've recieved so far from CR experts.

So, I guess I'm looking for someone to tell me, "You know what Chris? By Sunday, you will have been doing a great job of CR for three whole weeks, and if you wanna cut loose just one time, enjoy it, and just try to make up for it later." That's what I really want. I want permission. I want someone else to tell me what to do, but I want their advice to be what I want to hear! At least I'm honest about my denial...

Thanks to all, and...feeling kinda yucky today

2007-01-16T17:32:00.000-06:00

I'd like to take just a moment here to say a big THANK YOU to those of you who have been reading and commenting on my blog. I'd been wanting to start a blog for years, but never figured out what I could possibly write about that anyone else would want to read. I'm so pleased that through CR, I've discovered something I can work on and also help others with, one way or another. I may not always respond to your comments, but please know that I certainly do appreciate them!

I haven't mentioned it here on the blog, but I've been fighting off a cold the past few days. It's the kind where I'm coughing (productively), have lots of mucous, but am otherwise fairly functional. No fever or anything.

But today, the first day of classes for the semester, I started out feeling great, like I was over the worst of it, and deteriorated from then on. Now I feel pretty gross, a true feeling of malaise.

As for my food today, well I started out with my usual breakfast smoothie, but after that, I've had NO appetite all day. I forced down a Megamuffin before my third class because I know that it's hard to learn when one isn't adequately fueled.

But since then, eating sounds totally gross. I'm hoping this poor appetite is an artifact of being sick, and not of practicing CR, because the sick will go away, but if I'm feeling un-hungry because of CR and it persists, that could get sorta problematic.

In other news, I'm back to school today for my 10th and hopefully final semester (as an undergrad) at the University of Illinois at Chicago

My classes? Here they are:

Race and Labor in Latin America (standard reading/lecture/writing class)
Gender in Latin America (taught through film study!)
Advanced Fiction Writing
Latin American Music
Introductory Logic

If it seems like there is a theme, there is: I am a Latin American Studies major. This is my last semester before I graduate, and I'm cramming in the last few requirements. But I absolutely love these classes so far.

Quick Tip: another use for Egg Whites

2007-01-16T09:28:00.000-06:00

I'm always looking for low-calorie protein sources, and egg whites give a great protein bang for their caloric buck. But I am really unenthusiastic about scrambled egg whites. I'm also typically not hungry in the morning and find it difficult to eat...but if I don't, I become ravenous by lunch time and I don't like the helpless feeling I get when I'm out in public and suddenly intensely hungry. This feeling leads me to pizza!

So I find that a nice, light-tasting and refreshing smoothie goes down very easily and keeps me fueled for the first half of the day. One thing I've taken to doing lately is adding egg whites (uncooked) to my smoothie to give it a low-cal protein boost. I use Trader Joe's egg whites, which are pasteurized--and that means they are safe to eat uncooked. Here's the recipe:

1 cup nonfat yogurt
1 cup blueberries
1 cup egg whites
1 tsp flax oil
1 tsp cinnamon
optional: one scoop whey protein

You could easily scale down this recipe to fit your caloric and protein requirements.

Banish from your mind the "ewww, gross" factor of raw egg whites. They aren't snotty-textured or gooey or stringy or anything. They are basically a flavorless liquid that completely disappears in the smoothie (actually, they improve the texture and taste in my opinion).

But think twice before you use fresh raw egg whites--there is some risk of microbes.

Guess what mustard greens taste like....

2007-01-15T13:56:00.000-06:00

First, a few odds and ends, perhaps enough to make ends meet:

I recently decided to "Zone" up my targets, so I'm shooting for 40% protein, 30% fat, and 30% carbohydrate. This has made getting adequate protein a bit more challenging. Also, I've decided to increase my daily calorie target again, because even despite my two very unCR days last week, my scale informs me that I've lost six pounds--in just two weeks. That's two pounds too fast, and while I at one time thought, "I want to lose as fast as I can," I'm also enjoying the chance to eat some extra food and still lose weight.

[As a cheery aside: it doesn't take much weight loss for you to start feeling it in your clothes, and I'm happy--oh SO happy--to report that my favorite pair of jeans, which were fitting exactly properly two weeks ago, are now somewhat loose--comfortably so. God that feels GOOD.]

Back to my targets: reviewing my CRON data reveals the truth, that I've been eating more than my 1500/day calorie target anyhow, sometimes up to1900 calories. So I'm going to raise my target to 1700, and see where that takes me in the next week. Recall, I began with a 1300/day target, raised it to 1500/day, and now 1700/day.

The downside of raising my target is that I will have to find new ways to consume more protein. This is a bit of a tedious process, but thankfully it's fun and rewarding too.

Now, on to the titular subject matter: Mustard Greens

The only way I've ever eaten mustard greens in the past is stewed to oblivion the way collards and turnip greens and kale are often cooked, with a nice ham hock, plenty of salt, a dash of vinegar, a little sugar, some red pepper, served with hot sauce. I used to make good old fashioned, old-school collards that could take their place in any soul food restaurant without anyone noticing the white boy made them.

That was then, when said collards would naturally be accompanied by sweet potatoes (and I mean SWEET with sugar), corn bread, macaroni and cheese, and perhaps chicken wings, or ham, or a smothered pork chop. Don't forget the cobbler for dessert (even though the sweet potatoes had just as much sugar...).

Obviously I don't do that anymore, but I've always loved greens, and given their powerful nutrient punch for low calories, finding new and exciting ways to eat them seems like a high priority for effective CR practice.

Given the fact that "cooked-to-death" was the only way I'd experienced them previously, imagine my surprise yesterday when I got home with a pile of fresh, curly, beautiful mustard greens, and tried a little piece raw.

Mustard greens taste like mustard.

And I love with a capital L-O-V-E the flavor and ephemeral vapory heat of mustard (and horseradish and especially wasabe, too!)

But here's the funny and almost tragic part (if I'd gone through with it): I was on a shopping trip looking for recipe ingredients for my inaugural batch of Megamuffins, which includes curly endive. Well, Whole Foods was out of endive, but had a mountain of mustard greens that looked sort of similar--same color you know. I thought, "well, maybe mustard greens will work," and I bought a bunch.

Fortunately I discovered endive in stock at another store and bought it too. Why? Because mustard greens taste like mustard, and that just might not be the best accompaniment to strawberries and cherries, the fruit I was using in my batch of Megamuffins.

I'd had NO idea mustard greens were so mustardy. I'd never had them when they still had a flavor of their own. What a revelation!

Which brings me to my next point: the different styles of eating I engage in each day.

I prepared some lightly steamed mustard greens, dressed with a quick "vinaigrette" of balsamic vinegar, dijon mustard, brewer's yeast, pepper, garlic, and flax oil. The flavor was deliciously sharp and pungent--at first.

But after three or four bites, with a HUGE bowl still to go, it quickly became overwhelming. Too much pungency, too vinegary, too sharp. Just too flavorful, so flavorful I was practically crying out for a thin and tasteless broth to ease things up.

But I'd already mixed all those nutritious ingredients into the dressing, and I needed to eat ALL of it to get my budgeted nutrients for the day! So, I gritted my teeth, and chomped my way through a rather aggressive meal that, when I'd finished it, well, let's just say I was more than ready to be done with it. I turned to a big soothing mug of green tea to cleanse my poor overwrought palate.

This type of eating, this "ignore what's going on in your mouth and just bite, chew, swallow, bite, chew swallow," I'd charitably call "utilitarian," or "refueling" eating. I was not really enjoying the food (though I certainly wasn't hating it), and I was definitely eager to be finished. But I was also self-satisfied with the knowledge that every bite was packed with nutrition and while maybe my tongue wasn't exactly amused, my guts were all about it. (I can feel them in there now--my guts--descending on those greens like a pack of hungry wolves on a young buck.)

Well, mercifully, I got the "utilitarian" meal out of the way early. All the rest of the food I have planned for today seems indulgent by comparison, what I'd call "luxurious" eating:

salmon
sweet potatoes
kippered herring
yogurt
blueberries
chocolate (72% cacao)
a brand new Megamuffin (!)
....and more!

Isn't it wonderful when you begin to notice your tastes changing such that a baked sweet potato (mashed with a teaspoon of flax oil, cinnamon, vanilla, chopped nuts, and maybe a dash of Splenda if you are really in the mood for SWEET) seems like a rich dessert? When blueberries seem like little nibbles of ambrosia? When just 10 grams of some of the finest chocolate you can get virtually explodes in the mouth with flavor?

Sensible eating, as CR is, turns taste buds into sensory super-athletes. Without the oppressive unctuousness of all that unnecessary fat (not to be confused with necessary fat) and salt and sugar--which overwhelm everything else in the food--taste buds are free to tune themselves to detect essences that hover on the edges, tastes that suggest the presence of important nutrients our bodies crave, subtleties we missed before that give food its fullest expression of flavor.

And good flavor is what keeps us eating, so to me, this process seems key to survival. I'm inducing my body to deploy some dusty and disused tools from my toolchest of evolutionary survival. There's something primal and honest about this, something that makes me feel in touch with the way things work, the way things are supposed to work, a connection to nature that had been lost, paved over with refined carbs and saturated fat and bizarre chemicals, like a garden turned into a parking lot where nothing can grow with any real enthusiasm. My body feels like it's been depaved, the soured earth beneath tilled and restocked with nutrients and moisture and springing to life once again.

CR makes it easy to love food again, instead of always thinking of it as a source of guilt and denial. It's a benefit I wasn't expecting so soon in my experience, but I'm so grateful it's here!

I don't care if I die tomorrow.

2007-01-14T09:36:00.000-06:00

I don't care if I live to be 70, 80, 90, 145, or die tomorrow. Not exactly, anyhow. No, I don't want to die--I love life as much as anyone (and maybe more than some). But the notion of practicing CR for the purpose of achieving longevity is a concept that I'm still trying to wrap my head around.

Here's the thing: if I died suddenly, and didn't know it was coming, how could I possibly care? I wouldn't be around to notice it happened.

What I absolutely DO care about, without a doubt, is that I don't want to get sick and linger in some awful in-between state, not quite alive, not yet dead. I'm thinking of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, any illness that would directly or indirectly interfere with my ability to enjoy (not just endure) my life. I want to be vital, strong, healthy and energetic for as long as I can, and then I want to be suddenly, and without warning...dead.

Right now, if I were to suddenly die, and if my consciousness could somehow linger long enough to appreciate my own death, I could be satisfied that I hadn't descended into serious quality-of-life-ruining ill health, pain, fear and sadness, and that I'd been living my life according to my values and principles. But I'm only 36, and despite a few health conditions, I enjoy fairly healthy, happy existence--for now.

But statistics are NOT on my side, here. Give me another 30 years proceeding as I was before starting CR, and I could reasonably expect my death to be merely the logical and tragic end to a lot of suffering.

I don't want to do it that way.

So, as far as I can tell, this CR thing is my ticket to avoiding that tragic fate, to enjoying life as a strong and healthy person for as long as possible--however long that turns out to be. I don't need 140 years to feel successful here. I'd be happy to make it to 70, but have these next 34 years be vibrant and wonderful, instead of sickly and sad.

I guess, if I'm really honest with myself, I'm early into this process and I've been reluctant to share this blog with, for example, friends or co-workers, etc. because I'm sensitive to the idea that someone reading this blog who doesn't know anything about this process will be dismissive of CR before fully understanding that it's not only about some magical unknown future longevity, but about the quality of my life RIGHT NOW!

When I first trained for a marathon, our training coach said at the beginning, "Don't think about 26.2 miles, when today you only need to run 5. Can you run 26.2 miles? Of course not--not today. So why spend time stressing about how daunting that distance seems. Focus on what you have to work with right now."

I don't have 140 years to work with right now. I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and I'm 40 lbs overweight--that's what I have to work with right now. That's the five miles I have to run today. Longevity? That's the 26.2 miles I'm slowly, gradually working my way up to. I'm choosing to be mindful of what's happening to me now.

So if you are reading this blog, and you are critical of CR, or you are interested in persuading me that CR isn't the absolute best way for me to work with my health concerns right now, you better first do the following:

Demonstrate to me that you know what CR is, and that you are conversant in its premises and principles. (And be aware that it's taken me almost three months of study to just begin to understand it, and I have a long way to go, so don't imagine you can simply do a quick google search and convince me that you know what you're talking about. Be prepared to work for my respect.)
Prove to me that you have a better solution that can survive scientific scrutiny (good luck)
Show me how your solution is working out for you personally. (In other words, if you aren't personally a shining beautiful example of good health, I really don't want to hear advice from you.)

There's an expression, "stick with the winners." And it seems self-evident to me that if you want what someone else has, you should probably try to do what they did. So I'm taking my inspiration and advice from people who are doing this now, and achieving the kind of results that I want. Longevity? Who knows. Low blood pressure and cholesterol and weight loss and feeling good and healthy now? I'll take it.

Shut the hell up on pain of bitch slap!

2007-01-13T10:37:00.000-06:00

I find the premise that we can control, or at least influence our psychological and emotional responses (what I usually refer to as my "internal life") by managing the substances we put into our bodies to be intuitive, even self-evident. But that was not always the case for me, and I'm regularly reminded that others do not always see this connection as clearly as I now do.

My experience training for marathons and other athletic endeavors taught me the value in keeping a training log in which I recorded not only how much exercise I performed, but other things, like observations about energy levels, mood, the weather, diet--anything that could have an impact on performance was fair game to be journaled. The purpose was in being able to look back over a period of time and draw some connections and conclusions about what worked on the good days and what contributed to the bad days. This approach diminishes the role of randomness, focusing instead on rational, predictable responses to various inputs and stimuli--the predictable results of behaviors, as opposed to simply being a victim of bad luck. So rather than saying after a bad day, "Oh you know, it was just one of those days..." one could just as easily conclude "I ate a bunch of crap the day before, didn't get enough sleep, then ran 30% further than my last run instead of just 10%. No wonder I feel like shit today and my per/mile average sucked and I'm stiff and sore and am missing today's workout because of it."

I'm starting to view keeping track of my CR experience as not unlike keeping a training log. It seems important to be mindful (mindfulness--such a powerful concept) not only of how I'm eating, but how I'm feeling, how my external behaviors influence my internal life, and how my internal life in turn influences my external behaviors (the image of an ouroboros comes to mind). Over time, it seems likely I can learn much about the predictable and mechanical functioning of my mind and body by reviewing this information. And I predict that when my mind and body live in easy balance with one another, I will perceive that experience as what I'll call the CR Happy Meal, a well-balanced emotional feast consisting of a judicious serving of relaxed contentment, generously spiced with optimism (and just a pinch of pessimism for contrasting flavor), served with a side of mixed energies and enthusiasms, with healing and restorative sleep for dessert.

My certainty of these premises has only grown as I've embarked on this new CR lifestyle. Its objective tools, like nutritional software, allow me to compare and perhaps correlate my moods and emotions with the foods I've eaten that day or in the days previous, while the more subjective tools like the blogs of other newbies struggling their way through the initial baby steps, and the blogs and mailing lists with the musings of long-time practitioners invite me to compare my experience with those of other people. I'm aware that what works for me may not work for others, and vice versa, but I'll add that these truths that I have concluded to be intuitive and self-evident were things I learned from other people, then tested in my own life and found to be true, so I'll be happy if anyone reading these words I write can identify with my experience in some way.

With all of that as a rather indulgent prologue, I'll now move on to the real meat of this morning's Gratuitous Musings.

I've had a couple bad--really bad--CR days. I haven't recorded my food in CRON-O-Meter since January 10. Why? Because I sacrificed mindfullness and allowed my emotions to dominate and overmaster my behavior in ways that I couldn't bear to record for posterity. I used to call what I'm feeling this morning "shame." But the real shame I should be feeling is for how I often sit in judgment of myself in a disdainful and destructive way that I would never subject anyone else to.

Imagine:

"Chris, I really fucked up yesterday. I ate 10 pizzas, drank a keg of beer, and finished up with three dozen donuts which I washed down with a gallon of heavy cream!"

"How do you feel today?"

"Terrible. I'm sluggish and tired, depressed, my gut is in open revolt, I gained 25 pounds overnight, my blood pressure skyrocketed, and I'm about to have a heart attack because my arteries have narrowed to a trickle!"

"Wow, you are a total fuck up! You should probably just kill yourself and get it over with. Here, have a pound of butter for a snack."

Ouch! No, No, NO, not in a million years, not ever, never never never would I even THINK such a thing about--let alone say it to--someone who was suffering from the results of a few bad choices.

And I'm not going to put up with that nasty voice whispering in MY ear either. Oh, he tried it. He got all up in my face, that embittered, nasty little troll, and I had to warn him to shut the hell up on pain of bitch slap.

So imagine instead:

"Chris, I really fucked up yesterday. I ate 10 pizzas, drank a keg of beer, and finished up with three dozen donuts which I washed down with a gallon of heavy cream!"

"How do you feel today?"

"Terrible. I'm sluggish and tired, depressed, my gut is in open revolt, I gained 25 pounds overnight, my blood pressure skyrocketed, and I'm about to have a heart attack because my arteries have narrowed to a trickle!"

"What were you doing before this happened?"

"Well, I was eating generous portions of delicious and nutritious vegetables and fruit, succulently fatty fish, nuts, tea, even delicious 72% cacao chocolate!"

"Wow, that sounds terrific. How'd you feel?"

"Oh, man, I felt GREAT!"

"Well, if that was working for you, maybe you should try that again."

"But yesterday...it was all so awful...I..."

"Don't even think about yesterday--or tomorrow, for that matter. How about we just focus on what we actually have to work with, which is now, today. Could you try that, just one day? I'll do it with you, and we can compare notes tomorrow. What do you say?"

Well, whose counsel do you prefer?

I know what some of you are thinking: "So much DRAMA about food. Relax!" Oh, I wish I could! But, that food is tied to psychological drama shouldn't be surprising to anyone. Food is the first thing we do in life after breathing. Love and dependence and ecstasy and survival become inextricably hardwired the first time we latch on to mother's tit, and there's no divorcing them again. There is so much emotional baggage attached to food that we should applaud ourselves for making even the most trivial of good choices.

Embracing CR or any healthy way of eating is an act of self-love and self-respect, and inherent in that choice is an optimistic view that we can and should be better, that we can be healthier and happier and that those are desirable goals because we want to be alive and life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.

But love and hate are not opposites, and this isn't a zero-sum game. A day or two, or a week, a month, even years of bad choices don't have to be seen as acts of defeating self hatred. We don't need to keep sabotaging ourselves with feelings of inadequacy and disappointment and self-shaming, because those things in the end do not contribute much to our lives or the lives of others.

I like to remind myself of something I learned when I did some research on Wicca for a class once, something called the Wiccan Rede:

"An it harm none, do as thou wilt."

It's a powerful statement, and not only because it advises us to be mindful of how our choices impact others. The unspoken message inherent in the Wiccan Rede is that we not harm ourselves. Human beings are fairly clever--too clever perhaps--we find a million ways to harm ourselves first, and then find we are unable to help but harm others.

Obsessing about one's health and well being, about CR--about any of these things--can at times seem self-indulgent and self-absorbed. But we also need to recognize that if we want to be of any use to the world at all, if we want to love and respect others, and be loved and respected by others, we first must take care of and love and respect ourselves. And that means enjoying our successes and our good choices and our good days, and learning from our bad ones without descending into self-sabotaging shame and regret.

As Tibetan Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron said, "We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves."

As I sit here in front of CRON-O-Meter, peering at those two empty days where fear and loathing stood in my way and prevented honesty and acceptance, I can hear his receding voice now, that embittered little troll who visits me on days like yesterday, or the day before. He sounds so desperate and hateful, so unhappy. I'm tempted to give him an extra bitch slap for the road. But maybe like me, all he needs is a hug and blueberry/yogurt/flax oil/egg white smoothie.

A strenuous, high-calorie day

2007-01-11T08:20:00.000-06:00

Whew...yesterday was a complete bust with regard to practicing CR! I overate by more than a 1000 calories!

I have a good reason, however: in my work for the department of transportation, I occasionally have to do field work, which I conduct on bicycle (because it's bicycle-related work). So I spent more than eight hours yesterday riding around in the cold, getting cold from time to time (and getting warm from time to time too!), and covering the entire city from 6400 S. to 6400 N. If you're not familiar with Chicago, that's FAR, especially to be biking.

By the end of the day, I'd ridden about 55 miles. Using an online exercise/calorie calculator, plugging in a very conservative 4-hour time period (when I was one the bike for at least 7, plus stops and breaks) and "light" intensity level (when actually I was riding a bike loaded with gear, and riding against the wind--the cold, cold wind--much of the day), I burned at least an extra 2000 calories yesterday over my usual. There's no doubt that when you are doing that much extra exercise, you're going to need some fuel!

I started the day well enough, with an extra big breakfast smoothie. But my mistake was in not anticipating just how hungry I'd become later (especially given that hunger has been eluding me most days), and not bringing healthy, CR-friendly choices with me. But I was carrying a lot of gear and didn't have much room for 2000 calories worth of veggies, fruits, and lean protein sources, so I figured I'd stop somewhere for a salad at lunch time, eat the sardines and nuts I'd packed as a snack, and eat dinner at home.

Well, let's just say that at 1:00 pm, after four hours of riding in cold, windy January conditions, my body was not interested in a salad. I wanted carbs, carbs, carbs. I had a deep-down full-body hunger that I hadn't felt for several weeks. So I treated myself to a vegetarian burrito at a dynamite taqueria in the Pilsen neighborhood, the "Mexican" part of town (despite the name). It was delicious, and I savored every delicious bite. And as soon as I was done eating it, I was back on the bike, and riding for another four-hour stretch.

Dinner happened much the same way: it was 5:00, my body was out of fuel, and I was dying for a cup of hot something...green tea, as it turned out, along with a moderately sized sandwich of turkey breast and swiss on an italian roll with mayo! (At least I decided to forego the greasy potato chips.)

The eating orgy continued when I got home, with nuts, lite chevre cheese, dry raisin bran cereal, and chocolate. By the time I hit the sack, I'd topped out at an astonishly high 2784 calories (an estimate, since I don't really know the nutrient info for the food I ate out)!

Now, I'm philosophical about the whole thing. I know that averages are important, and that if I think about it that way, I've added only 100-150 calories/day to my 10-day average, fewer to my 30-day average, and nothing even worth noticing over my year-long average (which, granted, is pretty far off still). So I'm not gonna freak out about one "ad lib" day here and there. I'm still new at this, I'm vulnerable to mistakes and poor planning, and I'm gonna give myself some slack for awhile.

There's also another lesson in this: even at 2784 calories, I still fell short of important nutrients while exceeding targets like fat by 164%! It's very, very important to be honest with one's self and plug the foods we ate into the software even if they were nutritionally disastrous. Being reminded, eleven days into my CR practice, how easy it is to get dreadful nutrition out of massive numbers of calories is instructive. If I'd consumed 2784 calories using only the usual foods on my CR menu, I'd have exceeded every nutritional target by more than 100%, and probably still recieved enough energy to make it through my long day of bicycle riding. Very instructive indeed.

Here's the menu and crunch:

Menu for January 10, 2007

Kefir,lowfat,Trader Joe's	1	Cup	110
Egg, white, raw, fresh	1	cup	126.4
Blueberries, frozen, unsweetened	1.02	cup, unthawed	80.6
Flaxseed oil	1	tbsp	120.2
Spices, cinnamon, ground	2	tsp	12
burrito, vegetarian, Taqueria El Milagro (all guestimates)	1	Burrito	968
Bread, italian	2	slice, large (4-1/2" x 3-1/4" x 3/4")	162.6
LOUIS RICH, Turkey Breast and White Turkey (smoked sliced)	75	g	75
Cheese, swiss	1	oz	107.7
Salad dressing, mayonnaise type, regular, with salt	1	tablespoon	57.3
Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average	2	slice, medium (1/4" thick)	7.2
Lettuce, green leaf, raw	2	leaf outer	7.2
Nuts, almonds, dry roasted, with salt added	3	oz (22 whole kernels)	507.7
Candies, SPECIAL DARK Chocolate Bar	40	g	212.4
Chevre,lite,TraderJoe's	1	Ounce	35
Cereals ready-to-eat, KELLOGG, KELLOGG'S RAISIN BRAN	1	cup (1 NLEA serving)	194.6

Nutrition Summary for January 10, 2007

General (100%)
Energy	2784.0	kcal	186%
Protein	130.8	g	116%
Fat	131.9	g	264%
Carbs	285.1	g	150%
Fiber	40.0	g	100%

Vitamins (80%)
Vitamin A	8658.4	IU	289%
Folate	295.3	mcg	74%
B1 (Thiamine)	0.9	mg	72%
B2 (Riboflavin)	2.6	mg	201%
B3 (Niacin)	12.7	mg	79%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	1.7	mg	35%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	0.9	mg	67%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	2.7	mcg	114%
Vitamin C	51.8	mg	58%
Vitamin D	154.0	IU	77%
Vitamin E	26.7	mg	178%
Vitamin K	122.5	mcg	102%

Minerals (91%)
Calcium	1524.8	mg	152%
Copper	1.7	mg	185%
Iron	19.2	mg	240%
Magnesium	440.0	mg	105%
Manganese	5.6	mg	243%
Phosphorus	1197.2	mg	171%
Potassium	2185.4	mg	46%
Selenium	77.6	mcg	141%
Sodium	4886.6	mg	326%
Zinc	7.5	mg	68%

Lipids (88%)
Saturated	50.4	g	252%
Omega-3	8.0	g	500%
Omega-6	17.3	g	102%
Cholesterol	153.4	g	51%

Talking about CRON at work

2007-01-10T07:13:00.000-06:00

People at work have noticed that I'm doing things differently with my diet (bringing all my own food to work, not partaking of snacks and other goodies put out by the other office people, not going out to eat for lunch, etc.).

My work life is perhaps a little different than some. I work in the field of bicycling advocacy, as an intern at the Chicago Department of Transportation. Like me, most of my coworkers are reasonably healthy, active people who bicycle every day to work, school, grocery shopping, etc. They are naturally sympathetic to issues of healthy diet, a healthy food environment, environmental and social concerns, sustainability, etc., and many of these people are already fully politicized when it comes to the power of personal choice. So they are naturally sympathetic, I think, to the ethical reasons why I think CR is a good idea, even if they don't care about longevity. (The ethics of CR are something I take every bit as seriously as the personal benefits, but that's a discussion for another post.)

I'm unsure how best to respond to their questions. I worry that if I go into too much detail about CR, I will seem nutty--especially given that I am still significantly overweight. Who am I to represent the virtues of CR? So far, I've given a half-truth answer:

"I'm trying to address some of my serious health concerns with modifications to my diet."

I deemphasize the weight-loss goal, and longevity never enters into the conversation. I'm not ready to be a longevity advocate in public because if I fail to stick with this, it might persuade others that CR is unworkable. I also am the kind of person who would rather explain to people what I do that works for me, rather than offer advice about what they should do. And I'm not really the poster child for "what works," not yet. In July, maybe, after I've shed some weight and you can see the effects of CR just by looking at me!

So, I have a cunning plan. Okay, it's not that cunning, but it just might work. I'll give vague half-answers to their questions until I reach my goal weight. When I am the very image of virtuous CR practice, and can reasonably provide an appealing and authentic representation of what CR can do (in the short term, since the longevity issue remains an open question)--when they are looking at my thin, healthy body and asking "how'd you do it?"--THEN I'll open my big mouth and do some CR advocacy with my coworkers. And then they'll think I'm nutty anyhow. But I'll be able to say something arch and pithy, like "the results speak for themselves..."

I think it's important for me to fully internalize and prove my commitment to myself first, before I advocate to others.

How do I do it?

2007-01-10T07:00:00.000-06:00

I've been asked to share my secret for getting CRON-O-Meter menus and nutritional reports into my blog. The answer probably won't be terribly helpful unless you already have more than a passing familiarity with coding HTML, and also have access to certain software programs. But here's how I do it:

Prerequisites:

knowledge of HTML coding
Excel (spreadsheet software)
Dreamweaver (website development software; optional if you're willing to do all the html work old-school style in a text editor)
You are using blogger or some similar blog software that uses its own "templates" (cascading style sheets--CSS--actually) to control the colors and layout of your blog

Steps:

Highlight and copy (ctrl-C) the day's menu entries, then paste (ctrl-V) into an Excel spreadsheet (this step is necessary because you can't paste the menu data directly into Dreamweaver; other HTML editors might behave differently). Leave this here for a minute, while you....
Output an HTML formatted nutrition report (using COM's report function) for the date in question, clicking the little diskette icon to save the report to somewhere you can find it afterward.
Open a blank HTML document in Dreamweaver, select and copy the menu from Excel, and paste it into the design panel of Dreamweaver (not the code panel!). You are now done with Excel, it was just a means to get the menu into table form for Dreamweaver.
Looking at the code panel of Dreamweaver (or viewing the raw HTML in a text editor like Notepad), you can see that the tags in the menu table are full of "width" and "height" attributes that are trying to control the way the table looks in a browser window. The beauty--even the purpose--of HTML is that you can let the browser do this work for you. Use less formatting, and your data will be properly viewable for more people, so you're better off omitting these attributes and letting the user's browser layout the table the way that best fits the user's browser window. So, using Dreamweaver's find/replace function (or deleting manually in a text editor), strip out the following:
- "<col width="64" span="4" />" tags (the "64" and "4" might be other values for you); delete the entire tag.
- "width" and "height" attributes from the <td> and <tr> tags; delete ONLY the attributes--not the tags themselves
Now, open your HTML nutrition report that you created earlier in Dreamweaver.
Looking at the code panel, you'll see all the <tr> tags have the "bgcolor" attribute. Strip this attribute out (but not the tags themselves!). Then, select and copy all the HTML for this report.

The next steps occur in your web browser, and involve creating and modifying a new post.

Create a new blog post, and open the Edit HTML window
Copy the HTML for the menu table you modified earlier in Dreamweaver and paste to the HTML editor in Blogger
Back in Dreamweaver, select and copy the HTML for the nutrition report, and paste this into the HTML editor in Blogger.
Switch to "Compose" view in Blogger, and you'll see your two tables there. Dress them up with whatever titles you want, and you can do some final formatting here if you like, before you....
...submit your information for posting to your blog!

I know that seems like a lot of steps, but it's not really that hard--as long as you understand how HTML works. I've gotten really fast at doing all these steps, and it only takes me a few minutes to get my menu and nutrition report posted now. YMMV (your mileage may vary). It's good if more of us are posting our data for others to learn from, so If you try this and discover that I've omitted steps or made mistakes, please feel free to ask, and I'll do my best to correct these instructions and help you through any problems you have.

Peace!

Menu and Crunch, 09-Jan-07

2007-01-10T06:50:00.000-06:00

Menu for January 9, 2007

Kefir,lowfat,Trader Joe's	1	Cup	110
Blueberries, frozen, unsweetened	1	cup, unthawed	79
Flaxseed oil	0.66	tbsp	79.3
Spices, cinnamon, ground	1.5	tsp	9
Egg, white, raw, fresh	0.5	cup	63.2
Asian Vegetables, frozen, Trader Joe's	3	Serving	240
Egg, white, raw, fresh	1	cup	126.4
Fish, sardine, Pacific, canned in water, drained solids with bone	1	can	140
Nuts, almonds, oil roasted, with salt added	2.5	oz (22 whole kernels)	430.2
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water	2	cup (8 fl oz)	4.7
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water	2	cup (8 fl oz)	4.7
Sweet potato, raw, unprepared	350	g	301
GimmeLean Sausage	2	2 Oz.	100
Candies, SPECIAL DARK Chocolate Bar	20	g	106.2

Nutrition Summary for January 9, 2007

General (98%)
Energy	1793.8	kcal	120%
Protein	124.3	g	110%
Fat	66.1	g	132%
Carbs	180.8	g	95%
Fiber	38.4	g	96%

Vitamins (79%)
Vitamin A	56367.7	IU	1879%
Folate	125.1	mcg	31%
B1 (Thiamine)	0.6	mg	48%
B2 (Riboflavin)	3.4	mg	259%
B3 (Niacin)	11.5	mg	72%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	6.9	mg	139%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	1.1	mg	81%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	8.6	mcg	359%
Vitamin C	82.0	mg	91%
Vitamin D	541.6	IU	271%
Vitamin E	23.1	mg	154%
Vitamin K	34.1	mcg	28%

Minerals (92%)
Calcium	1236.5	mg	124%
Copper	1.6	mg	180%
Iron	14.7	mg	183%
Magnesium	397.4	mg	95%
Manganese	3.9	mg	169%
Phosphorus	944.0	mg	135%
Potassium	3688.6	mg	78%
Selenium	114.6	mcg	208%
Sodium	3571.3	mg	238%
Zinc	5.0	mg	45%

Lipids (52%)
Saturated	7.5	g	38%
Omega-3	6.0	g	373%
Omega-6	11.4	g	67%
Cholesterol	11.1	g	4%

Menu and Crunch, 08-Jan-07

2007-01-09T09:02:00.000-06:00

Yesterday wasn't a great day, but given that I was out of groceries and had to find much of my food "out" yesterday, I think I did pretty well. The good news is that I shopped last night and am prepared for the week.

I keep topping out about 100 to 150 calories above target, but I'm also doing about an hour of moderately fast biking each day commuting to work, so I may need those extra calories for fuel. As long as I'm losing weight slowly, I think it's fine.

I picked up some egg whites from Trader Joe's, enough for the week, so that should give me a needed low-cal protein boost. Also got flax oil, which I'm going to start using instead of ground flax in my smoothies, and also in dressings for things.

I picked up some kefir. I think I'll start making it at home instead of yogurt. I can make twice the quantity of kefir for the same cost of buying it pre-made. But I'll make it with fat-free dairy milk.

I'm going to drop soy milk for awhile until I find out more about its health risks. If I learn that I can make kefir out of rice, almond, or oat milks, I'll consider trying that too, but these products don't offer the protein of dairy or soy milk, so it's a lot of calories for not much nutrition. So we'll see.

Once I successfully produce homemade kefir, I'll post my recipe.

Menu for January 8, 2007

Trader Joe's Shrimp Stir Fry	2.5	Serving	175
Egg, white, raw, fresh	1	cup	126.4
Flaxseed oil	0.66	tbsp	79.3
Tea, brewed, prepared with tap water	2	cup (8 fl oz)	4.7
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water	4	cup (8 fl oz)	9.5
Cheese, cottage, lowfat, 2% milkfat	1	cup (not packed)	203.4
Fish, salmon, Atlantic, farmed, cooked, dry heat	1.33	3 oz	232.9
Nuts, almonds, dry roasted, with salt added	2	oz (22 whole kernels)	338.5
Peppers, sweet, green, raw	3	ring (3" dia, 1/4" thick)	6
Peppers, sweet, red, raw	3	ring (3" dia, 1/4" thick)	7.8
Carrots, raw	1	medium	25
Pineapple, raw, all varieties	0.5	cup, diced	37.2
Mangos, raw	0.5	cup, sliced	53.6
Kiwi fruit, (chinese gooseberries), fresh, raw	1.5	fruit without skin, large	83.3
Arugula, raw	1	1/2 cup	2.5
Lettuce, red leaf, raw	1.05	cup shredded	4.7
Chicory greens, raw	0.5	cup, chopped	3.3
Oil, olive, salad or cooking	1	tsp	39.8
Kefir,lowfat,Trader Joe's	1	Cup	110
Honey	1	tbsp	63.8
Chevre,lite,TraderJoe's	1	Ounce	35

Nutrition Summary for January 8, 2007

General (83%)
Energy	1641.8	kcal	109%
Protein	143.7	g	127%
Fat	69.6	g	139%
Carbs	117.2	g	62%
Fiber	22.2	g	56%

Vitamins (91%)
Vitamin A	17975.6	IU	599%
Folate	253.2	mcg	63%
B1 (Thiamine)	0.9	mg	73%
B2 (Riboflavin)	3.1	mg	242%
B3 (Niacin)	16.3	mg	102%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	6.4	mg	127%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	1.6	mg	121%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	5.0	mcg	208%
Vitamin C	544.9	mg	605%
Vitamin D	100.0	IU	50%
Vitamin E	21.4	mg	143%
Vitamin K	170.1	mcg	142%

Minerals (89%)
Calcium	981.2	mg	98%
Copper	1.4	mg	152%
Iron	8.3	mg	104%
Magnesium	345.9	mg	82%
Manganese	4.2	mg	182%
Phosphorus	1091.0	mg	156%
Potassium	3228.5	mg	69%
Selenium	121.7	mcg	221%
Sodium	3132.9	mg	209%
Zinc	4.6	mg	42%

Lipids (82%)
Saturated	12.1	g	60%
Omega-3	7.6	g	472%
Omega-6	11.6	g	68%
Cholesterol	119.3	g	40%

I'll admit it: I have a lusty infatuation with my skinny, post-CR body.

2007-01-08T09:53:00.000-06:00

I'll admit it: I have a lusty infatuation with my skinny, post-CR body. It goes around, hiding its sexy self inside an unflattering cloak of flab--I know it's in there, and I've repeatedly attempted to coax it to disrobe, but it's been holding out, teasing me from time to time with a glimpse of glutes, or a peak of pec, only to cover back up and walk away. So I decided to try a little CR, a carefully constructed campaign to win my body over.

Starting CR is an act of seduction. I have all kinds of things I want my body to do for me, but it gives the cold shoulder, and prances off coquettishly, tossing a come hither glance over its shoulder that says, "nice try, but I don't think so..."

I romanced my body with ardor for six long days, only to be rewarded with one tiny pound of weight loss--just a stitch in a sturdily constructed garment.

I thought, "if it took six days to lose one pound, there's no way I'm going to meet my target of two pounds per week. There's no way I'm going to get this body naked in six months." I'd been allowed a little heavy petting, then it pulled back--it wasn't ready. CR frustration threatened to cloud my judgment. My body was mocking me, dangling that one solitary pound in front of me. What a tease!

Well apparently some bodies like it in the morning. On day eight, I was greeted by more than the sunrise when I awoke. My body must have REALLY been in the mood this morning, because the scale revealed a 4lb weight loss--a three pound difference from yesterday! Whew! I finally got some!

I can hear you now:

"SLOW DOWN!" you caution. "You have some power in this relationship too--but you're moving too fast."

But things seem suddenly to be going great, I enthuse! And they do! I got four pounds this morning, and it was HOT!

"Don't let it go to your head," you reply. "It's all part of the tease, how your body gets its hooks into you. Now that you know what you were missing all this time, how good it was, your body can withhold all it wants. You'll do what it wants to get more. You are owned now."

I sigh. This isn't exactly what I wanted to hear. I thought my problems were over, and that me and my body were finally locked in a steamy, passionate CR affair.

"Yeah, you're desperate--we all are. So what? You don't have to let your body know that. That's not a turn on. You need to send the message, loud and clear: 'Weight loss? Meh. I could take it or leave it...' Now that's a turn on. Yes, your body has something you want, and it's teased you and excited you. But you have power too--you have things your body wants. You can use the power of tease, as well."

Like what? How can I turn this fling into a torrid, passionate affair that will last?

"If you want to enjoy this relationship for a long, long time, take a tip from the experts: you need to engage in a little foreplay if you want to get things moving on a regular basis."

Foreplay? You mean, like cooing into its ear, maybe running it a hot bath with rose petals and shampooing its hair lovi....

"Shhhh! Less willful talking, more willing listening." you chide. "Here are some tips: try seduction with almonds, and egg whites. Never underestimate the subtle power in the judicious use of kale, and tenderly--but firmly--apply a little zinc. A soft powdering with brewers yeast might be the cool touch that really heats things up...but watch the saturated fat--instant turnoff! Look at us--don't the results speak for themselves?" you ask boastfully. I bow to you. I am your pupil.

"And don't expect to get 4lbs every week," you scold. "That's just greedy, and no one likes a selfish CRer. Now get going!" you command with a light swat on my behind as you show me the door.

Duly chastened, I scoot sheepishly out into the big happy sunny world outside. 'Is the sky just a little bit bluer today?' I wonder, as I set off on my quest to gather the tools of seduction.

Surprise! Week One Seven-Day Averages!

2007-01-07T23:08:00.000-06:00

Below are my seven-day averages for my first week of CR. I started out the week with a target of 1300 calories/day. After two 2000+ calorie days in a row, I decided my body was trying to tell me something, and upped my target to 1500 calories/day. As you can see, I wasn't too far over it. I can live with being that close to my target for my very first week!

I could definitely stand to cut the saturated fat down and maybe increase the Omega-6 fats, but I'm rationally using up stuff I have in the fridge, like some delicious butter and cheese, and whole eggs that I will later on not be eating too often. Cutting back on saturated fat (to be replaced with something like olive oil, or none) will give me room to increase my protein another 9% without a lot of extra calories. Egg whites to the rescue? I think so.

I was also pleased with my nutrient targets, mainly. I did it without supplementation, and the few percentages that I'm short, I'm confident I can correct with diet or "natural" supplements like brewers yeast, which I think of as a food, not a supplement. I still don't rule out supplements at some point, but for now, I'm going to keep tinkering with the diet to see if I can edge any of those numbers up naturally.

[Warning: abuse of italics ahead.]

I was a little surprised to be low on potassium (I wonder if it's time to enjoy some avocados instead of all that butter...that would offer potassium and good fat, right?); not so surprised about the B-vitamins, except that it was B3 and B5 I was short, instead of B12. B3 is also known as niacin, and that's in coffee. So another 4-6 cups during the week might have done it...but I don't think I can handle that much more caffeine--I'm already taking more than I'd like. Maybe more salmon, some mushrooms (is it crimini?), or brewers yeast?

Could definitely use some vitamin E. Can't remember where that comes from, but such info is readily googled.

On the other hand, I was happily surprised to see my high vitamin D level (thanks to tinned sardines), without supplementation, but not at all surprised that zinc was low. That's one I might consider supplementing soon. I understand it's important for healing.

My Omega-3 was great, and I'm always surprised by the foods I discover it in, like 11% from my morning cup of blueberries!. What remains unclear to me is if I need to achieve the 100% of Omega-6, when I've read that it is inflammatory...but perhaps only when it's consumed excessively? The Omega-3/Omega-6 issue is one I still need to learn more about.

If you're like me, by now you are sick of the word "surprise." I've written it so many times it's starting to not sound like a real word anymore. And you hope I never write the word "surprise" again.

Well...SURPRISE! I'm going to, because that is one of the main surprises about this experience--just how surprising these quantifiable, objective results are, and how much surprising information they reveal about me and my food choices. I have learned more about food this ONE week than in all my life, previously. I am serious. I'm also just a wee bit obsessed right now. But that's how I operate. That's how I get things done.

Nutrition Summary

January 1, 2007 to January 7, 2007

Daily Averages over 7 days

General (97%)
Energy	1635.7	kcal	109%
Protein	102.4	g	91%
Fat	68.0	g	136%
Carbs	181.9	g	96%
Fiber	45.1	g	113%

Vitamins (95%)
Vitamin A	25814.5	IU	860%
Folate	527.0	mcg	132%
B1 (Thiamine)	1.7	mg	138%
B2 (Riboflavin)	2.7	mg	206%
B3 (Niacin)	13.6	mg	85%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	4.9	mg	98%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	2.3	mg	178%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	8.1	mcg	336%
Vitamin C	224.7	mg	250%
Vitamin D	290.6	IU	145%
Vitamin E	9.3	mg	62%
Vitamin K	576.2	mcg	480%

Minerals (98%)
Calcium	1579.1	mg	158%
Copper	2.0	mg	217%
Iron	19.7	mg	246%
Magnesium	467.7	mg	111%
Manganese	5.9	mg	255%
Phosphorus	1501.6	mg	215%
Potassium	4204.7	mg	89%
Selenium	66.4	mcg	121%
Sodium	2743.7	mg	183%
Zinc	9.6	mg	87%

Lipids (79%)
Saturated	15.9	g	80%
Omega-3	4.3	g	270%
Omega-6	12.7	g	75%
Cholesterol	180.1	g	60%

Menu and Crunch, 07-Jan-07

2007-01-07T22:58:00.000-06:00

Well, here is day 7 and the end of my first week of committed CRing. It's getting late, and I'm tired, so I'll wait until tomorrow to make incisive and thoughtful commentary about my first week experience. I'll also post a 7-day report that gives averages--that's the information I'm most interested in right now!

Menu for January 7, 2007

Beet Cabbage Soup	0.66	full recipe	501.4
Fish, sardine, Pacific, canned in tomato sauce, drained solids with bone	120	g	223.2
Avocados, raw, California	0.12	cup, pureed	48
Nuts, pecans, dry roasted, without salt added	1	oz	201.3
Carrots, baby, raw	1	large	5.2
Mustard greens, raw	0.25	cup, chopped	3.6
Beet greens, raw	0.25	cup	2.1
Dandelion greens, raw	0.25	cup, chopped	6.2
Chicory greens, raw	0.25	cup, chopped	1.7
Salmon, Trader Joe's, patties	1	Patty	80
Oranges, raw, California, valencias	0.12	cup sections, without membranes	11
Blueberries, frozen, unsweetened	1	cup, unthawed	79
Nuts, pistachio nuts, dry roasted, with salt added	1	oz (49 kernels)	161
Candies, SPECIAL DARK Chocolate Bar	10	g	53.1
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water	4	cup (8 fl oz)	9.5
Tea, brewed, prepared with tap water	3	cup (8 fl oz)	7.1

Nutrition Summary for January 7, 2007

Target: 1500 Calories

General (83%)
Energy	1393.5	kcal	93%
Protein	74.8	g	66%
Fat	69.2	g	138%
Carbs	139.5	g	73%
Fiber	32.6	g	81%

Vitamins (96%)
Vitamin A	38053.4	IU	1268%
Folate	414.8	mcg	104%
B1 (Thiamine)	1.2	mg	104%
B2 (Riboflavin)	2.0	mg	157%
B3 (Niacin)	19.5	mg	122%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	6.5	mg	130%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	2.7	mg	204%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	11.1	mcg	463%
Vitamin C	294.6	mg	327%
Vitamin D	576.0	IU	288%
Vitamin E	8.2	mg	55%
Vitamin K	375.4	mcg	313%

Minerals (94%)
Calcium	818.3	mg	82%
Copper	2.1	mg	229%
Iron	14.1	mg	177%
Magnesium	381.7	mg	91%
Manganese	6.8	mg	295%
Phosphorus	1169.2	mg	167%
Potassium	4824.5	mg	103%
Selenium	60.1	mcg	109%
Sodium	2903.4	mg	194%
Zinc	7.8	mg	71%

Lipids (64%)
Saturated	9.4	g	47%
Omega-3	4.0	g	251%
Omega-6	12.5	g	74%
Cholesterol	103.7	g	35%

Menu and Crunch, 06-Jan-07

2007-01-07T10:12:00.000-06:00

Close to my target calories for the day but short on some nutrients, notably Vitamin D--0%!! And I didn't set foot outside in the sun yesterday, so I produced none of my own. I need to keep some tins of sardines around for days like this. They offer lots of Omega-3, protein, and heaps of vitamin D--one of the few foods I've found that does so.

Also a bit low on protein, but I was out of eggs, and just wasn't in the mood for more salmon. Oh well.

I tried something different yesterday: I had my "breakfast smoothie" (which consists of 8oz fat-free yogurt, 1 cup blueberries, and 2T ground flax) in the evening, as a dessert. I dressed it up with 2T of Dutch-processed cocoa from the local chocolate factory, Blommers, and some vanilla and honey (usually Splenda), for a very satisfying "milkshake" for dessert. I usually don't appreciate this smoothie's creamy sweetness in the morning, when I have NO appetite and would be just as happy eating cardboard, so eating it at night seems a cunning innovation!

One more note: if you crave something almost unimaginably sweet yet nutritious (in moderation of course), I can't recommend dried figs highly enough. After a week of no donuts, cookies, candy, or really any sugar, the natural sweetness of dried figs is like candy...candy loaded with vitamins, minerals and fiber (but still high in calories, so use like candy, for a treat!). I find them much more satisfying than raisins or other dried fruit.

Menu for January 6, 2007

Rice, brown, long-grain, cooked	1	cup	216.4
Boca Burger, All American Flame Grilled	2	Patty	180
Soybeans, green, raw	70	g	102.9
Corn, sweet, yellow, frozen, kernels cut off cob, unprepared	70	g	61.6
Peppers, sweet, red, frozen, chopped, unprepared	10	g	2
Oil, sesame, salad or cooking	1	tsp	39.8
Breakfast Smoothie	1	full recipe	291
Honey	2	tbsp	127.7
Cocoa, dry powder, unsweetened, processed with alkali	2	tbsp	24
Nuts, pistachio nuts, dry roasted, with salt added	1	oz (49 kernels)	161
Figs, dried, uncooked	50	g	124.5
Onions, raw	50	g	21
Carrots, raw	1.33	medium	33.3
Beets, canned, regular pack, solids and liquids	141.67	g	42.5
Tomatoes, red, ripe, canned, with green chilies	136.67	g	20.5
Cabbage, red, raw	0.17	head, large (about 5-1/2" dia)	59.8
Oil, olive, salad or cooking	0.33	tablespoon	39.4
Spices, garlic powder	0.33	tbsp	9.2
Soup, chicken broth, low sodium, canned	0.67	cup	25.7
Soup, stock, beef, home-prepared	0.08	cup	2.5

Nutrition Summary for January 6, 2007

Target: 1500 Calories

General (93%)
Energy	1584.8	kcal	106%
Protein	81.4	g	72%
Fat	46.1	g	92%
Carbs	243.6	g	128%
Fiber	42.4	g	106%

Vitamins (78%)
Vitamin A	17256.2	IU	575%
Folate	338.7	mcg	85%
B1 (Thiamine)	1.5	mg	127%
B2 (Riboflavin)	1.4	mg	105%
B3 (Niacin)	13.2	mg	82%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	4.2	mg	83%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	2.1	mg	162%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	1.7	mcg	69%
Vitamin C	169.1	mg	188%
Vitamin D	0.0	IU	0%
Vitamin E	3.2	mg	22%
Vitamin K	128.2	mcg	107%

Minerals (93%)
Calcium	1311.0	mg	131%
Copper	1.9	mg	207%
Iron	16.4	mg	205%
Magnesium	462.9	mg	110%
Manganese	5.3	mg	231%
Phosphorus	1296.4	mg	185%
Potassium	3800.4	mg	81%
Selenium	41.4	mcg	75%
Sodium	1848.0	mg	123%
Zinc	8.6	mg	78%

Lipids (52%)
Saturated	8.0	g	40%
Omega-3	3.9	g	247%
Omega-6	10.8	g	63%
Cholesterol	14.9	g	5%

Some early stumbles

2007-01-06T11:57:00.000-06:00

I'm well into my 6th day of CR, and things are going a bit rockily--but I'm not worried. I've got nothing but time to get it right.

I've been cautioned by leading experts in the field of CR that my initial target of 1300/day was too low. And if you see my data, you'll see that I managed to come in under 1300 just once--on January 1st--and the rest of the five days the calories were well over my targets, some higher than 2000!

How did this happen?

After being "not hungry" all day long and doing a good job of staying within my targets, late-night cravings hit, and I turned to a comforting old favorite snack that used to seem like a "healthy" choice: raisin bran with honey and soymilk.

Well, healthy maybe if compared to another favorite snack: half a box of donuts and a quart of 2% milk (I'm serious). But still, on a CR diet, the raisin bran made for a 400+ calorie "snack" that ultimately didn't satisfy, but just made me want more, while smashing my targets for the day!

Nutrition software reveals these things in such a stark, unambiguous and objective way that corrective behavior seems almost a given here.

So, I've retroactively upped my calorie target to 1500/day in the CRON-O-Meter software before producing those reports. Even 1500 may prove too strict--but here's the thing: in five days, I've dropped maybe one pound. On Monday, I'll do the reports for the seven-day period, see what my average is, check my weight, and see how I'm doing. I want to lose two pounds/week, so I'll make the necessary adjustment to my target on Monday if I've either exceeded that goal--or failed to meet it. I plan to make my target decisions based on weekly averages for now, since I have little data to work with.

Menu and Crunch, 05-Jan-07

2007-01-06T11:49:00.000-06:00

Menu for January 5, 2007

Food	Qty.	Unit	Calories
Broccoli, frozen, chopped, unprepared	200	g	52
Peppers, sweet, green, frozen, chopped, unprepared	150	g	30
Beans, snap, green, frozen, all styles, unprepared	150	g	49.5
Egg, white, raw, fresh	0.85	cup	107.4
Egg, whole, raw, fresh	1	extra large	85.3
Rice, brown, medium-grain, cooked	1	cup	218.4
Oil, sesame, salad or cooking	1	tsp	39.8
Seeds, sesame seeds, whole, roasted and toasted	10	g	56.5
Salmon, Trader Joe's, patties	1	Patty	80
Soup, stock, beef, home-prepared	0.12	cup	3.7
Seaweed, agar, dried	0.1	g	0.3
Cheese, edam	2	oz	202.4
Nuts, pistachio nuts, dry roasted, with salt added	2	oz (49 kernels)	322.1
Salad dressing, italian dressing, fat-free	6	tbsp	39.5
Cabbage, red, raw	150	g	46.5
Carrots, raw	1	medium	25
Figs, dried, uncooked	75	g	186.8
Pickle, cucumber, sour	1	large (4" long)	14.8

Nutrition Summary for January 5, 2007

Target: 1500 Calories

General (94%)
Energy	1560.0	kcal	104%
Protein	96.3	g	86%
Fat	63.2	g	126%
Carbs	169.6	g	89%
Fiber	37.7	g	94%

Vitamins (81%)
Vitamin A	16415.1	IU	547%
Folate	326.0	mcg	81%
B1 (Thiamine)	1.4	mg	118%
B2 (Riboflavin)	2.2	mg	170%
B3 (Niacin)	10.0	mg	62%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	3.9	mg	79%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	2.3	mg	174%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	2.1	mcg	86%
Vitamin C	313.2	mg	348%
Vitamin D	40.7	IU	20%
Vitamin E	5.9	mg	39%
Vitamin K	288.8	mcg	241%

Minerals (95%)
Calcium	1066.2	mg	107%
Copper	2.0	mg	223%
Iron	14.1	mg	176%
Magnesium	411.8	mg	98%
Manganese	5.4	mg	234%
Phosphorus	1344.2	mg	192%
Potassium	3393.7	mg	72%
Selenium	83.7	mcg	152%
Sodium	4310.3	mg	287%
Zinc	8.8	mg	80%

Lipids (92%)
Saturated	17.3	g	86%
Omega-3	1.9	g	120%
Omega-6	14.1	g	83%
Cholesterol	327.5	g	109%

Menu and Crunch, 04-Jan-07

2007-01-06T11:44:00.000-06:00

Menu for January 4, 2007

Food	Qty.	Unit	Calories
Spinach, frozen, chopped or leaf, unprepared	225	g	69.8
Peppers, sweet, green, frozen, chopped, unprepared	100	g	20
Soybeans, green, raw	70	g	102.9
Corn, sweet, yellow, frozen, kernels cut off cob, unprepared	70	g	61.6
Peppers, sweet, red, frozen, chopped, unprepared	10	g	2
Boca Burger, All American Flame Grilled	2	Patty	180
Beans, snap, green, frozen, all styles, unprepared	150	g	49.5
Oil, olive, salad or cooking	1	tablespoon	119.3
Spices, garlic powder	1	tsp	9.3
Oil, sesame, salad or cooking	1	tsp	39.8
Seeds, sesame butter, tahini, from unroasted kernels (non-chemically removed seed coat)	1	tbsp	85
Cheese, cottage, nonfat, Cabot Vermont	1	4 oz	70
Nuts, pistachio nuts, dry roasted, with salt added	1	oz (49 kernels)	161
Fish, sardine, Pacific, canned in tomato sauce, drained solids with bone	110	g	204.6
Cheese, edam	2	oz	202.4
Cereals ready-to-eat, KELLOGG, KELLOGG'S RAISIN BRAN	1	cup (1 NLEA serving)	194.6
Soymilk, Kirkland, organic, plain	2	Cup	200
Honey	1	tbsp	63.8
Spices, cinnamon, ground	1	tsp	6
Yogurt, plain, skim milk, Trader Joe's	1	cup (8 fl oz)	110
Blueberries, frozen, unsweetened	1	cup, unthawed	79
Seeds, flaxseed	2	tbsp, ground	74.8

Nutrition Summary for January 4, 2007

Target: 1500 Calories

General (100%)
Energy	2105.4	kcal	140%
Protein	149.7	g	134%
Fat	96.2	g	192%
Carbs	197.7	g	104%
Fiber	49.7	g	124%

Vitamins (97%)
Vitamin A	30833.0	IU	1028%
Folate	771.7	mcg	193%
B1 (Thiamine)	2.2	mg	180%
B2 (Riboflavin)	3.5	mg	272%
B3 (Niacin)	18.6	mg	116%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	4.3	mg	85%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	2.2	mg	170%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	19.8	mcg	826%
Vitamin C	173.0	mg	192%
Vitamin D	829.9	IU	415%
Vitamin E	12.2	mg	81%
Vitamin K	891.5	mcg	743%

Minerals (100%)
Calcium	2701.0	mg	270%
Copper	2.0	mg	221%
Iron	28.1	mg	351%
Magnesium	597.5	mg	142%
Manganese	6.5	mg	281%
Phosphorus	2086.5	mg	298%
Potassium	4526.2	mg	96%
Selenium	90.6	mcg	165%
Sodium	3016.5	mg	201%
Zinc	13.0	mg	118%

Lipids (84%)
Saturated	23.4	g	117%
Omega-3	6.4	g	403%
Omega-6	15.5	g	91%
Cholesterol	132.6	g	44%

Menu and Crunch, 03-Jan-07

2007-01-06T11:37:00.000-06:00

Menu for January 3, 2007

Food	Qty.	Unit	Calories
Peppers, sweet, green, frozen, chopped, unprepared	150	g	30
Spinach, frozen, chopped or leaf, unprepared	215	g	66.6
Broccoli, frozen, chopped, unprepared	205	g	53.3
Spices, garlic powder	1	tsp	9.3
Egg, white, raw, fresh	3	large	51.5
Vegetable oil, canola	1	tsp	39.8
Tomatoes, red, ripe, canned, stewed	1.5	cup	99.4
Nuts, pistachio nuts, dry roasted, with salt added	3	oz (49 kernels)	483.1
Cheese, cottage, nonfat, Cabot Vermont	1	4 oz	70
Salmon, Trader Joe's, patties	1	Patty	80
Butter, salted	1	tbsp	101.8
Spices, garlic powder	0.5	tsp	4.6
Tofu Shirataki Noodles	1	2 Ounces	20
Cheese, parmesan, grated	1	tbsp	21.6
Cheese, edam	2	oz	202.4
Soymilk, Kirkland, organic, plain	2	Cup	200
Honey	1	tbsp	63.8
Cereals ready-to-eat, KELLOGG, KELLOGG'S RAISIN BRAN	1	cup (1 NLEA serving)	194.6
Seeds, flaxseed	2	tbsp, ground	74.8
Yogurt, plain, skim milk, Trader Joe's	1	cup (8 fl oz)	110
Blueberries, frozen, unsweetened	1	cup, unthawed	79
Spices, cinnamon, ground	1	tsp	6

Nutrition Summary for January 3, 2007

Target: 1500 Calories

General (100%)
Energy	2061.7	kcal	137%
Protein	134.8	g	120%
Fat	93.7	g	187%
Carbs	207.6	g	109%
Fiber	51.8	g	129%

Vitamins (99%)
Vitamin A	31515.5	IU	1051%
Folate	750.8	mcg	188%
B1 (Thiamine)	2.2	mg	181%
B2 (Riboflavin)	3.8	mg	295%
B3 (Niacin)	15.2	mg	95%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	4.5	mg	89%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	3.0	mg	227%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	10.1	mcg	423%
Vitamin C	297.4	mg	330%
Vitamin D	309.8	IU	155%
Vitamin E	16.1	mg	107%
Vitamin K	1055.0	mcg	879%

Minerals (100%)
Calcium	2375.7	mg	238%
Copper	2.6	mg	288%
Iron	26.6	mg	333%
Magnesium	580.2	mg	138%
Manganese	6.5	mg	284%
Phosphorus	1857.4	mg	265%
Potassium	5229.6	mg	111%
Selenium	77.9	mcg	142%
Sodium	3760.3	mg	251%
Zinc	11.9	mg	108%

Lipids (83%)
Saturated	26.0	g	130%
Omega-3	5.9	g	370%
Omega-6	15.9	g	94%
Cholesterol	120.4	g	40%

Menu and Crunch, 02-Jan-07

2007-01-06T11:19:00.000-06:00

Menu for January 2, 2007

Food	Qty.	Unit	Calories
Spices, cinnamon, ground	1	tsp	6
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water	4	cup (8 fl oz)	9.5
Soymilk, Kirkland, organic, plain	0.5	Cup	50
Nuts, pistachio nuts, dry roasted, with salt added	2.5	oz (49 kernels)	402.6
Dal, urad, dry	0.5	1/2 Cup	190
Tea, brewed, prepared with tap water	4	cup (8 fl oz)	9.5
Beans, snap, yellow, frozen, all styles, unprepared	0.25	package (10 oz)	23.4
Carrots, frozen, unprepared	0.3	package (10 oz)	30.7
Beans, snap, green, frozen, all styles, unprepared	0.1	package (10 oz)	9.4
Cereals ready-to-eat, KELLOGG, KELLOGG'S RAISIN BRAN	1	cup (1 NLEA serving)	194.6
Soymilk, Kirkland, organic, plain	1	Cup	100
Honey	1	tbsp	63.8
Spinach, frozen, chopped or leaf, unprepared	127.5	g	39.5
Peppers, sweet, green, frozen, chopped, unprepared	50	g	10
Butter, salted	1	tbsp	101.8
Yogurt, plain, skim milk, Trader Joe's	0.5	cup (8 fl oz)	55
Spices, curry powder	1	tbsp	20.5
Spices, onion powder	0.25	tsp	2.1
Spices, garlic powder	0.5	tsp	4.6
Soup, stock, beef, home-prepared	0.5	cup	15.6

Nutrition Summary for January 2, 2007

Target: 1500 Calories

General (97%)
Energy	1593.9	kcal	106%
Protein	95.3	g	85%
Fat	61.2	g	122%
Carbs	196.3	g	103%
Fiber	55.3	g	138%

Vitamins (94%)
Vitamin A	27143.5	IU	905%
Folate	532.7	mcg	133%
B1 (Thiamine)	1.9	mg	158%
B2 (Riboflavin)	3.6	mg	280%
B3 (Niacin)	12.5	mg	78%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	6.2	mg	124%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	2.3	mg	176%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	8.3	mcg	346%
Vitamin C	82.6	mg	92%
Vitamin D	229.4	IU	115%
Vitamin E	8.0	mg	54%
Vitamin K	516.7	mcg	431%

Minerals (96%)
Calcium	1637.5	mg	164%
Copper	2.0	mg	217%
Iron	22.8	mg	286%
Magnesium	506.8	mg	121%
Manganese	7.6	mg	331%
Phosphorus	1514.7	mg	216%
Potassium	4728.4	mg	101%
Selenium	40.4	mcg	74%
Sodium	2002.9	mg	134%
Zinc	9.5	mg	86%

Lipids (63%)
Saturated	13.5	g	68%
Omega-3	3.9	g	241%
Omega-6	12.5	g	74%
Cholesterol	35.5	g	12%

Menu and Crunch, 01-Jan-07

2007-01-06T10:19:00.000-06:00

Menu for January 1, 2007

Food	Qty.	Unit	Calories
Dal, urad, dry	0.5	1/2 Cup	190
Egg, whole, raw, fresh	2	extra large	170.5
Broccoli, frozen, spears, unprepared	255	g	74
Nuts, pistachio nuts, dry roasted, with salt added	1	oz (49 kernels)	161
Yogurt, plain, skim milk, Trader Joe's	1	cup (8 fl oz)	110
Blueberries, frozen, unsweetened	1	cup, unthawed	79
Seeds, flaxseed	2	tbsp, ground	74.8
Spinach, frozen, chopped or leaf, unprepared	127.5	g	39.5
Peppers, sweet, green, frozen, chopped, unprepared	50	g	10
Butter, salted	1	tbsp	101.8
Yogurt, plain, skim milk, Trader Joe's	0.25	cup (8 fl oz)	27.5
Spices, curry powder	1	tbsp	20.5
Spices, onion powder	0.25	tsp	2.1
Spices, garlic powder	0.5	tsp	4.6
Soup, stock, beef, home-prepared	0.5	cup	15.6
Cheese, cottage, nonfat, Cabot Vermont	1	4 oz	70

Nutrition Summary for January 1, 2007

Target: 1500 calories

General (82%)
Energy	1151.0	kcal	77%
Protein	84.8	g	76%
Fat	46.6	g	93%
Carbs	118.9	g	63%
Fiber	46.3	g	116%

Vitamins (86%)
Vitamin A	19485.0	IU	649%
Folate	554.5	mcg	139%
B1 (Thiamine)	1.2	mg	97%
B2 (Riboflavin)	2.1	mg	164%
B3 (Niacin)	6.0	mg	37%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)	4.9	mg	98%
B6 (Pyridoxine)	1.8	mg	135%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin)	3.4	mcg	141%
Vitamin C	242.9	mg	270%
Vitamin D	48.6	IU	24%
Vitamin E	11.3	mg	76%
Vitamin K	777.5	mcg	648%

Minerals (90%)
Calcium	1143.9	mg	114%
Copper	1.2	mg	133%
Iron	15.7	mg	196%
Magnesium	332.9	mg	79%
Manganese	2.9	mg	126%
Phosphorus	1242.5	mg	178%
Potassium	2930.3	mg	62%
Selenium	70.6	mcg	128%
Sodium	1364.0	mg	91%
Zinc	7.6	mg	69%

Lipids (78%)
Saturated	13.8	g	69%
Omega-3	4.2	g	261%
Omega-6	7.4	g	44%
Cholesterol	526.2	g	175%

Make yogurt at home

2007-01-03T11:55:00.000-06:00

I like yogurt a lot, especially in my morning smoothie. I figured out how to make it from scratch, thereby giving me total control over the ingredients, and also saving me money.

I started by sterilizing everything I was working with. I accomplished this by taking a big pot, and boiling my utensils and the jar in it. I don't know how necessary this was--I presume the yogurt culture would out-compete any bad microbes, but being careful isn't a bad idea.
To make the yogurt, you need 1/2 cup of starter. I used plain, unsweetened yogurt from the store to make the first batch--but be sure to read the label, make sure it lists live, active cultures (the more varieties the better). Subsequent batches can be made with a 1/2 cup of the finished homemade yogurt as your starter.
Add the yogurt to a quart of milk of your choice. I used plain soy milk, which though plain, does contain added sugar. This is good because sugar takes the place of the lactose in dairy milk, giving the bacteria something to feed on and convert to lactic acid--which gives yogurt its tang. (Adding even more sugar might result in more lactic acid and therefore more tang--I plan to experiment.)
Keep this mixture at about 110-115 F. degrees (any hotter and you'll start killing the culturing organisms; colder, and you'll inhibit their growth) for about four hours. I mixed it in a one-quart mason jar, which I then set in a pot of warm water, and monitored the temperature with a candy thermometer. Whenever it cooled a few degrees, I removed some of the water, and replaced it with hotter water. You could probably set the pot on a heating pad and have an easier time of it. Or buy yourself a yogurt maker--but I'm all for doing it old-school.
After 4 hours fermenting at 110 F. degrees, it will look, smell and taste like yogurt. Longer fermenting makes more tart yogurt. Use it right away, or for better flavor, put the yogurt in the fridge for about 12 hours.
When you start running low, save a 1/2 cup of your homemade yogurt to use as a starter, and repeat the process.

Notes about soy: I'm trying to limit my dairy milk consumption, and my corner store sells decent soy milk for $1.50/quart. Soy milk yogurt has a thinner consistency than dairy, and is pourable. You can thicken it with agar, guar, whatever, but since I use it in smoothies, I don't bother. The flavor of soy milk yogurt is almost identical to dairy milk yogurt, in my opinion.

In the Beginning...

2007-01-01T08:00:00.000-06:00

I first started seriously considering doing CRON in mid-November or so, and began the process of obtaining the (free) software and learning how to use it, joining several great e-mail lists for information and support, and reading "The Longevity Diet" by Lisa Walford and Brian M. Delaney. I also spent hours upon hours reading websites and doing research into food and nutrients, health conditions like high blood pressure and high cholesterol--both of which I live with. I questioned the wisdom of starting CRON right before the holidays, so I decided to start on January 1st. And I did!

The table below gives some basic starting data that I was able to compile myself. I perhaps didn't use the most scientific means (for example, my BMI was calculated only based on height and weight), but I'm most interested in tracking positive trends and changes (hopefully downward for most measurements), rather than having the most precise measurements.

I hope to get more accurate data in January 2007, when I'll be able to make an appointment at the "Human Performance Lab" where I go to school at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There I hope to have a wide variety of more accurate tests performed.

Body Measurements	Value	Notes
Age	36
Height	5'11"
Weight	220
Waist	40"
Thigh (measured at widest point)	26
Chest	45
Belly (measured at widest point)	43
Upper arm/bicep (unflexed)	14
BMI (as determined using this online calculator)	31.4
Waist to Height Ratio	.56
Lean Body Mass	167.2 Lb
Amount Overweight	46.9 pounds
BP (w/o lisinopril 5mg)	140/95
Calorie Targets
Minimum Calories to Maintain Current Weight	2309	I believe I consume upwards of 3000 calories/day, routinely. But according to the online calculator I used, these are the data.
Suggested Target Calorie Consumption	1962/day	This amount is supposed to allow for 2.5 lbs per month, according to the above-mentioned calculator. I prefer to lose weight at the rate of 2 lbs per week, so I'm going to be more aggressive in my targets.
My Target Calorie Consumption	1300/day	This amount should allow for a 2 lb/week weight loss (assuming a 7000/wk reduction in calories, or 1000/day. If weight loss goes too fast, I'll add more calories. I've resumed bicycling to work, totalling an hour of pedaling at a moderate pace five days a week, so I am burning more calories than before, as well. So I'll wait until a week or two has passed, average my weight, and see if I need to add calories.
My Target Macro Nutrient Ratio	30/40/30 (protein/carb/lipid)	I may experiment with upping protein to 40 and reducing carb to 30, but for now while I learn how to eat this way, the lower protein requirement is easier to manage.
Start Date: January 1, 2007
Starting Weight	January 1	220
Goal #1:	February 1	212
Goal #2:	March 1	204
Goal #3:	April 1	196
Goal #4:	May 1	188
Goal #5:	June 1	180
Goal #6:	July 1	172
Goal #7:	August 1	164